Mar/Apr 2003

Beyond Butterfly Kisses

Bob Carlisle's song is a wedding anthem, but he still isn't ready to give away his little girl.

Bob Carlisle is living the good life. His Grammy Award-winning song, "Butterfly Kisses," (in which a father talks about watching his little girl grow into a woman) has become an anthem for fathers everywhere, selling more than 3 million copies. And with sales continuing at about 5,000 a month, the future is looking good.

Carlisle admits he wasn't prepared for the financial windfall. "We had this giant influx of money and I was freaked out," he says. "On one hand, I'm telling myself: 'I want to be smart. I want to be smart.' While this other side of me was saying: 'I want to be Elvis. I want to be Elvis.'

"So I did it. I allowed myself one Elvis moment. I went in dressed really badly and bought a $95,000 Mercedes S500 for my wife right off the showroom floor, in cash. It was fun."

Although Carlisle enjoyed his "Elvis moment," he says it was a one-time experience. "It's like God said: 'Hey, you've got some money left over. Let Me tell you how to get rid of it.'"

Carlisle has joined forces with George King, former president of Reunion Records, and longtime friend Michael Rinaldi to form the Butterfly Group. After only two years the group has four record labels--Christian Records, Flying Leap, Gospel One and Butterfly Kids; their film company, Dove Canyon Films, is currently reading scripts and scouting locations for two films; and Diamante Distribution was recently acquired and renamed Diamante Butterfly.

"So, now I'm a full-fledged record company weasel, and I like it," Carlisle says. "I'm wearing a different hat, and I like that. I like overseeing the artists. I've been touring for 30 years, and I'm tired."

Carlisle also hopes he can influence a change within the Christian music community. "Christian music is the most segregated music artistically of any genre in the world. I mean, it's like Southern gospel people never do anything with contemporary Christian people and black gospel people never do anything with [Christian] rock people."

Putting his money where his mouth is, Carlisle participated in last year's Left Behind II: Tribulation Force Music Tour. He remembers, "We were going out with hip-hop, pop artists, Southern gospel...I mean, all we needed was jugglers and we'd be like Ed Sullivan!"

But financial success and influence aren't the only changes in Carlisle's life. His daughter, Brooke, is getting married this year.

Often asked if "Butterfly Kisses" was based on true experience, he jokes, "Of course it was, except for the third verse (about his daughter's wedding day). That verse was made up. It was for when she was 85-years-old and out of the convent."

Then he sneers. "I hope Brooke and what's-his-name will be very happy."

Written as a private love letter to his daughter, "Butterfly Kisses" was never meant to be recorded. "It's an intensely personal song. I never intended to put it on my record or anyone else's. I mean, who wants to hear a yarn about a guy and his kid, you know?"

Then why did he? "My wife made me do it." According to Carlisle, she forced him to play the song for George King, his boss. "So I turned the song on and left the room. When I came back, everyone was crying. We put it on the record and none of us had any idea it would do what it did."

What it did was jump from No. 200 on Billboard's Top 200 to No. 2 in just one week. Then it remained at No. 1 for seven weeks. "The awesome part is that it was something of substance. You know, I could be remembered by 'The Macarena' or something. But this song is something of substance that people have made a part of their lives. It'll be played forever at weddings and things."

Carlisle is thankful for how God has used his song to mend relationships. "The most poignant part of the journey has been that of reconciliation. God allowed me to be a small part of His grand scheme to bring the hearts of children to their parents."

He tells of a letter he got from a truck driver. "This guy was driving down the road and heard 'Butterfly Kisses' on the radio. He immediately pulled over, went to a pay phone and called the daughter he hadn't spoken to in six years, and began the process of reconciliation."

Then Carlisle hesitates. "The idea that God would use a schmo like me to transport that message is amazing."

Carlisle still can't believe his good fortune, both spiritually and financially. When asked if he thinks he was blessed because of his faithfulness, he says: "Oh no. Not at all. God's blessed me despite my lack of faithfulness. That's the miracle."
Vonda Skelton

Why Men Need Superheroes

Thwack! Bam! Ka-pow! Boy, do we guys like our superheroes! Regardless of age, we flock to their latest cinematic exploits like groupies. Superman, Spider-Man, Daredevil--something about them appeals to us.

While it'd be easy to dismiss this fascination as a simple boyish desire to kick bad-guy rumps, I think there's a more profound dynamic at play here, and it's this: Our hearts are drawn to the Christlikeness exhibited by the best superheroes.

True, Christ didn't leap over houses or blast those nasty Pharisees into next week--not physically, anyway. But He did raise the dead, excise demons and feed 5,000 people with a single child's lunch. Powerful stuff.

"But it's not power that makes superheroes attractive," points out Jim Ware, co-author of Finding God in the Lord of the Rings and a student of Scripture and story. "It's what they do with that power. It's their choosing to use it to combat evil and to help others."

In Spider-Man, Uncle Ben tells his nephew Peter Parker, otherwise known as Spider-Man, "With great power comes great responsibility." The line was practically lifted from Luke 12:48: "From the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked" (NIV).

Living up to that responsibility usually requires giving up something precious--a normal life, peace...Spider-Man walks away from the girl of his dreams, knowing his powers would lead him into a life unfit for normal relationships. "My gift. My curse," he says.

In The Divine Drama, author Kurt D. Bruner says that the basic element of heroism is self-sacrifice. Christ's supreme sacrifice. A superhero's almost constant willingness to "lay down his life for his friends" (John 15:13). Do you suppose witnessing such sacrifices makes our daily ones easier? Tithing, for example, isn't so painful when we consider what others have given.

Scripture is clear that we should not brag or boast, but should be humble in our service to others. Superheroes don't wait around for praise. They often leave bad guys tied up for the police to find. When not actively fighting evildoers, they clothe themselves as ordinary men, as Christ did. They are incognito because they want none of the credit.

In the comic Christmas With the Superheroes No. 2, Supergirl states: "We don't do it for the glory. We don't do it for the recognition. We do it because it needs to be done. Because if we don't, no one else will."

"Altruism is essential to heroism," says Larry Hama, the writer of many Wolverine comic books. "Heroes may start out reluctant--even Moses was--but in the end, they do what they do for no gain of their own."

Contrary to popular belief, true superheroes are not avenging angels. Moral-minded critics of the 1994 movie The Shadow complained that our "hero" extracted revenge, that he did not use his superpowers merely to foil evil plans, but to harm those who, in his view, deserved punishment. When Batman Forever came out a year later, the Caped Crusader was careful not to use violence except to stop an immediate threat. The result was the best opening weekend of any Batman film, thanks in part to word of mouth among Christians.

Movie superheroes also show us we can thrive and help good conquer evil despite our weaknesses. Daredevil is blind, and the X-Men's leader, Charles Xavier, is wheelchair-bound. What's holding us back?

As more superheroes make it to the big screen, we should keep in mind the virtues that make them worth rooting for. Todd McFarlane's Spawn (a "superhero" from hell, literally) and Frank Miller's Dark Knight version of Batman (a bona fide vigilante) are far cries from the heroes we want to emulate.

So, I don't know about you, but I can't wait for Spider-Man 2 or the remake of Superman that's in the works. I know they're just comic book heroes, and I know Who the real model for my life is, but it's sure cool to see Christlike traits cheered for a change in this culture.

And who knows? Maybe some of their bravery and moral assuredness will rub off. Then when some bad guy tries to, say, take the Ten Commandments out of a public building...POW!

Bob Liparulo is a freelance writer, reviewer and a contributing editor to New Man.