Navigate With Courage

Whenever I think about courageous people I usually think of someone who has done an amazing thing, like running into a burning building to save an elderly person or risking his own life by jumping into flood waters to save a mother and her baby-you know, things worthy of media coverage. But those kinds of courageous acts are not afforded to many of us (not to mention that most of us carry a fair degree of uncertainty about whether or not we are brave enough or strong enough to pull those acts off if they were).

However, that doesn't mean courage isn't accessible to everyday people. We all face problems; we all have setbacks, troubles and pain-it's the stuff of life. Courage helps us deal with whatever life throws at us. And it helps us keep an even keel through it all. It equips us with fortitude to work through failure, or with the integrity that prevents compromise if we're overwhelmed by success. It helps us overcome sickness, discouragement, and the losses that come in all sizes and shapes. In other words, your life will either get smaller or larger in direct proportion to your courage.

Most of life needs to be navigated with courage. Think of raising children? That takes guts. Think of the issue of discipline alone. I was the kind of dad who loved giving my kids whatever they wanted. But always giving children what they want is a recipe for raising third-world dictators, not responsible adults. Raising healthy, responsible adults demanded doing an un-fun, courageous thing—I had to learn to say "NO."

In every relationship there are the important "I'm sorry's," the "That was my fault," the "I procrastinated and then completely forgot," the "This is who I am; I am not happy about it and I need help," the "I need to understand you better" admissions that are required from time to time in healthy relationships. Talk about scary.

I remember when I was pastoring my first church and I made a statement from the pulpit about someone's kids. I knew it was risky (they were in the audience), but I thought I had veiled it sufficiently. And, besides, I was right. A couple days went by and I got a letter in my in-box from the mom. It kindly asked why I would refer to their family in a public forum and wondered if they should leave the church. The letter had been stained with tear marks.

I felt completely trapped. Part of me screamed, "She's overreacting. I was just making a point." Another part of me whispered, "You shouldn't have done that. Go to them and ask them to forgive you." That whisper paralyzed me with fear. But in spite of the gravitational pull of fear, I got up from my desk, went to my car, immediately drove to their home with the dread that they might actually be there (it was a Saturday morning), walked up to the door and knocked. They answered. I stayed for about an hour or so explaining what I was thinking, while still owning my mistake, and asking them for forgiveness for being so insensitive. They were gracious enough to do so.

I learned something very important about courage that day. Courage is not the absence of fear; it is doing what is right in spite of fear. Don't think if you are riddled with fear that courage has somehow evaded you. Look smack at the fear, focus on what is right, and then DO IT AFRAID. That is what courage is. John Wayneonce said, "Courage is being scared to death—and saddling up anyway."

Just because things get difficult and uncomfortable that doesn't mean you should avoid them. Decades ago, W. Beran Wolfe wrote, "If you have evaded all unpleasantness in your life your happiness is placed in unstable equilibrium by the constant dread that some unavoidable disappointment is just around the corner. If you have faced pain and disappointment, you not only value your happiness more highly, but you are prepared for [the] unpredictable. There may be many happy human vegetables who have succeeded in avoiding unhappiness and pain, but they cannot call themselves human."

So much of the good stuff is had only after you have walked through the "land of hard." Norman Vincent Pealesaid, "Too much caution is bad for you. It is usually wiser to stand up to a scary-seeming experience and walk right into it, risking the bruises or hard knocks. You are likely to find it is not as tough as you had thought. Or you may find it plenty tough, but also discover you have what it takes to handle it."

Instead of avoiding something that makes you feel bad or scared, ponder on whether or not it is good. Look into the future. What would your life be like if you continued on that course of action? Would it be good? Would your life be richer? If you determine that it is something good (though it makes you feel scared trying it now), decide to start thinking about it differently-refuse to play it safe. John Shedd said, "A ship in harbor is safe—but that is not what ships are for." You were not created for "safe" either.
Look past the pain of the action to the joy of its reward. Then do the uncomfortable, hard thing courageously and do it with joy! The ancient poet Ovid said, "The burden becomes light which is cheerfully borne." Re-jigger your emotions and commit to the thing; don't let your emotions set the course of your life. There's a chance you'll end up ruining a lot of things that could have been wonderful if you let your emotions rule you.

The famous World War II General George. Patton said, ""If we take the generally accepted definition of bravery as a quality which knows not fear, I have never seen a brave man. All men are frightened. The more intelligent they are, the more they are frightened. The courageous man is the man who forces himself, in spite of his fear, to carry on."

People of faith are at an advantage because Scripture tells us, "God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." Nice to know.

New York Times best-selling author Ed Gungor has been in pastoral ministry for more than 25 years. You can follow Ed on Facebook, MySpace and Twitter. Sign up for the RSS feed to his blog at ChristianPost.com.  His newest book, What Bothers Me Most About Christianity, released June 1.