By Brian Bates

My life experiences have brought a growing passion around the issue of homosexuality. We've all observed the growing dissention on the subject--and the resulting division. I have wondered about God's heart, his bottom-line in these days. I'm becoming convinced that God's priority is not merely to win a moral debate but more so to win hearts. That's how it happened for me anyway.

I was a bright, active kid. I was artistic and sensitive, which some saw as less than masculine. I couldn't seem to identify with the men around me, not my Dad, my older brothers or my peers, especially at important times of development. I rarely felt like just "one of the guys."

I think others decided I was gay long before I did. Getting tagged as such isolated me. I didn't know who I was or where I belonged. My struggles evolved into an identity as a young gay man. Being gay seemed to resolve a lifetime of unanswered questions. And as that community welcomed me, I finally fit in. Yet my good intentions were often met with disappointment. Relationships were never fulfilling and friendships rarely true. My life evolved into a party lifestyle to escape reality and avoid God.

In my early 20s, when my disappointment turned to despair, the relentless kindness of a new Christian friend reminded me of a merciful Father. I began to cry out to God for rescue, and He made a way for this prodigal to come home.

At age 23, I came to God with an identity crisis in need of resolution. I thought I knew who I was, yet I was wrong. That marked the start of a journey toward restoration in my masculinity and my faith. I learned to trust God again. He convinced me of who I am as a man and as his child. He walked me through my past. That difficult, liberating path led me to agree that seeing myself as gay was a faulty conclusion.

Now I see homosexuality for what it is--a broken attempt at meeting unmet needs, rooted in a gender-identity crisis. I trust God to meet my needs in better ways, which He does!  God brought me into a new community of friends that celebrate who I uniquely am. Both my gifts and my masculinity found opportunity to develop and thrive. Ironically much of my healing has come from just being one of the guys. I no longer identify myself in my sexuality, but rather as a child of God and the unique, creative, powerful man He intended all along.

I hope my story helps foster both understanding and compassion, as I hope to promote a proper response to this issue. Consider my turnaround: It started with the relentless kindness of a friend. We did not agree on the gay issue, but that wasn't her goal. It was her authentic compassion that surprised and impacted me and was a catalyst in turning my heart toward home.