You tell your wife you love her all the time. Those words say a lot, but what you say isn't the only way you communicate to your wife how you feel about her. What you do sends an equally strong message. In fact, what you do gives her proof beyond a shadow of a doubt how much she means to you.

Q: How, exactly, do your actions either support or undermine those declarations of love?

A:  Words are a wonderful love currency, one that your wife values highly, but actions are the gold standard that backs them up. And when it comes to love, she is delighted when you become a man of action. Anyone can say "I love you," but doing "I love you"—now that's a different story.

Doing often involves unselfishness and sacrifice. Doing pulls a man away from the pregame show on TV. Doing can involve work, and it isn't always fun. And that is why it's so valuable—doing proves that you meant those words of love. The amount of time, money, energy, and emotional effort you spend on your marriage speaks volumes to your wife. When you say "I love you" and back it up with action, you give her proof positive that you mean what you say.

How much of you does your wife get when you're home? Does she have to pry the TV remote out of your hands? Does she have to beg for your cooperation in all things relating to the family and, if so, how hard and how long? When was the last time you sacrificed something to help her with a project? Can she count on you to be there for her when she's got a problem? 

If someone were to ask your wife, "How do you know your husband loves you?" what would she answer?  What would you want her to answer? 

Saying, "I love you," is important. Living it is vital.

Worth thinking about

• Sit down with your wife and ask her what your actions are saying about the way you feel about her. Find out what, to her, says "love." Ask her to give you some specific tasks so you know exactly what to do.

• Train yourself to think first of her. When making decisions about things pertaining to the house, instead of telling her what you'd like, find out what her preferences are.

• When planning leisure activities, think in terns of we instead of me.

This article was taken from 100 Answers to 100 Questions About Loving Your Wife by Lila Empson and Shelia Rabe, published by Christian Life. To buy the book click here!