The best way you can help your wife overcome her fears is by building up her confidence. When she’s afraid to try something new, whether it’s applying for a job, running a marathon, or simply getting out and meeting the neighbors, a woman’s fears often stem from a lack of self-confidence. She may think: I’m probably not good enough. What if I fail? What if I get rejected?

 

Women are good talkers. They can easily build up someone else with words of encouragement, but they can as easily tear themselves down with all kinds of negative talk. Maybe your wife failed at something once and no one told her she could pick herself up and try again. Maybe she reached out to someone and was rejected. Maybe she doesn’t see herself as deserving of good things.

 

Whatever the root cause of her fear and doubt, you can find it and help her destroy it. You have the power to reset her thinking. When you, the most important person in her life, believe in her and encourage her to try, it sends the clear message that she is capable of more than she realizes. Knowing you’re with her assures her that she’s not alone. There’s strength in numbers, and your support and encouragement will give her mental and emotional strength and will up her bravery quotient.

 

List her strengths. Deep down she suspects she’s capable. Your verbalizing it will confirm her suspicions.

 

Don’t make light of her fears. Even if they seem silly to you. They’re very real to her.

 

Remember those bicycle training wheels? Think of yourself as the human equivalent, and give her the support of your presence whenever possible. Attend intimidating events with her and applaud her success. Soon she’ll have the confidence to race along on her own. Remember this verse: There is no fear in love, put perfect love casts out all fear (1 John 4:18, NRSV).