Who is the strong man today who fights to hold together his family? I'd like to say that it's the Christian man. But statistics tell us that divorce within the church is as high as outside it. What does this say about our strength as Christian men?

Resistance to pressure always tests strength. The emblem on your favorite pair of Levi's is two mules trying to pull apart a pair of jeans, indicating the product's strength. In weight training, resistance to pressure tones and strengthens a body. As you grow in your manhood, resistance to pressure tones and strengthens your character.

Resistance to outside pressure tests the strength of your friendships, and your commitment to your job and chosen career path. But one of the greatest tests of strength a man will experience is his ability to resist pressure against his marriage.

The secret to the strong man's marital strength is God's grace. We should give our wives jewelry, clothes, chocolates and flowers. But in the eyes of eternity, we as men have nothing to give our spouses other than the grace of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Mark and Pam sat across the table from me and recounted their journey in marriage and faith. For nine years they had a "good marriage," a comfortable living and all the externals that spell happiness. Then business struggles brought in stress, and a year later they were talking divorce. Mark had to decide if he would become a strong man or wimp out.

Mark said: "I finally went to Pam and confessed everything--my desire for another woman, my unhappiness with her attitudes. It crushed her, but I didn't know what else to do. We found a Christian couple who counseled with us. It was hard, but she forgave me. I forgave her. We became determined to make the marriage work."

God's grace operating in Mark's life brought mercy, eliminated judgment, provided forgiveness and erased anger. Reconciliation, understanding and love are manifested in grace, which is found in no other place, no other way.

Grace shows duty and obligation but allows liberty and freedom. The grace of God in Mark's life soon expressed itself through service.

"We began to read the Bible together, pray and talk without fighting," Mark said. "Then I heard about foot washing. So one night I took the children to a friend's and lit all the candles in the house before she came home. When she arrived, I knelt in front of her and washed her feet, telling her how much I loved her and how grateful I was to be married to her. Then she washed my feet. We took communion together, and it was as if we had a new marriage. It was the greatest night of our lives."

How many times do we men want to start over again with someone else? The Bible says: "For consider him that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds. Ye have not yet resisted unto blood, striving against sin" (Heb. 12:3-4, KJV).

We have never endured and resisted to the point that we sweat blood, which is what Christ did to purchase our eternal salvation. Yet we stand in Christ's stead on this earth to offer His grace to others, resulting in the salvation of a marriage and of a family.

"You cannot believe the way I love him now," Pam eagerly added to Mark's story. "It's as if I have a new husband!"

As in salvation, the saving of a marriage is the work of grace. God's favor is a manifestation of His grace: "You are their strength. What glory! Our power is based on your favor!" (Ps. 89:17, TLB).

The noted preacher Spurgeon said, "It's all of grace." John Newton, the crusty slave trader who once thought himself strong, was converted and in an encounter with real strength penned the song "Amazing Grace." Grace holds the power to make us strong men!

God's grace withstands any assault and resists any pressure. Accepting and acting on God's grace makes us the strongest of men.

Considered the pioneer of the modern-day men's movement, Edwin Louis Cole was the founder of the Christian Men's Network (CMN). He died on Aug. 27, 2002 after a short bout with bone marrow cancer. Visit CMN’s Web site at edcole.org.