Every one of us is a leader in some capacity in our life, whether it is at work, at home or in our community. At some point as a leader, we all face conflict. Managing conflict is a big part of any leader's job description.

 

Notice I said managing conflict, not avoiding, squelching or suppressing conflict. Conflict is inevitable. Is conflict good or bad? It's both. Conflict can generate change and growth if handled in a healthy way—and that kind of conflict is good. But conflict can also be bad. If we duck it, avoid it, deny it or mismanage it, conflict can actually destroy an organization.

 

Jesus modeled for us a leader who used communication to manage conflict. Jesus never avoided conflict, nor did He go out of his way to create conflict. But He always used conflict as a teaching opportunity, a growth opportunity, and a tool for generating positive change and building stronger relationships.

 

Here are some keys to managing conflict:

 

Welcome disagreements. Remember that disagreements are a stimulus for change and a corrective for error.

 

Listen carefully. One of the reasons people fail to see eye to eye is that they don't take the time and trouble to hear ear to ear. Hear the other person out and repeat what they said in your own words to let them know you've absorbed it accurately.

 

Keep your cool. Whatever you do, don't blow up. Once your temper flares, you are not going to make any progress. Take a walk, count to 100 and do whatever you have to do, but don't lose your cool.

 

Focus first on areas of agreement. If you honestly feel that the other person's complaint is in error, look for things you can affirm before launching into your counterarguments.

 

When you're wrong, admit it. Leaders who can honestly admit they were wrong are the most respected and admired leaders.

 

Weigh concerns and criticism of others honestly, objectively and fairly. After all, these people just might be right.

 

Praise in public, reprimand in private. If you humiliate your employee in front of his/her peers, you will not only make one enemy, but you'll make a roomful. However, if you praise one member publicly, you'll make not just one friend but many.

 

Absorb the gripes and grievances of your organization. It's healthy for employees to air their gripes. Great leaders encourage and accept criticism.