For men, one of the biggest culprits responsible for stress is aggressive behavior that is identified as a demanding and sometimes bullying attitude. For many it's simply an outgrowth of their everyday lives.

 

“Men literally don't have the time,” Colbert says. “They're trying to cram too many activities into too little time which creates tremendous frustration and irritation which shortens our fuse.”

 

Aggressive behavior will wreak havoc on a man's health.

 

“Aggressive men have tremendous anger outbursts,” Colbert says. “This also raises the blood pressure because of all the adrenaline. These hormonal reactions in the body also cause the body to form more cholesterol.”

 

On the flip side, passive men can suffer from many of the same physical problems. While aggressive men can be labeled as “exploders,” passive men are referred to as “imploders.”

 

“Passive men internalize their emotions and they implode,” Colbert says. “That raises another hormone called cortisol. They're the people stewing in their own cortisol juices, whereas the exploders are the ones stewing in their own adrenaline. Both situations raise the blood pressure. It just works by different mechanisms, and they're both deadly.”

 

Instead of succumbing to either of these physically demanding behavior patterns, Colbert says that it is much healthier to be assertive by clearly and confidently stating opinions “in a rational manner.” He believes that being assertive is not only well within our God-given rights as Christians but it is also full of health benefits.

 

“By being assertive, you're going to be able to turn off these hormonal mechanisms that are unleashed in our bodies when we're aggressive and passive and thereby prevent a host of diseases,” Colbert says.

 

Whether your personality type leans toward aggressive or passive, Dr. Colbert shares the following Stress Less pointers for how you can learn to be an assertive, healthy individual:

 

1. Communicate more confidently. The more you do this, the more confident you will feel on the inside.

2. Respect other people and their rights. For example, purposefully yield to people on occasion by giving up a lane on the freeway or a space in a busy parking lot.

3. Don't be a doormat. Tell people what you expect and what you like. Communicate with terms of “appreciation” and “suggestion,” rather than through manipulation (the passive personality) or domination (the aggressive personality).

4. Don't respond apologetically. Passive people have a tendency to say repeatedly, “I know that you don't care what I think,” or “I realize my ideas might not be worth much.” Such self-belittling remarks don't win respect, including your own.

 

5. Avoid putting others down. Put special effort into combining positive expressions of praise when communicating constructive criticism.

6. Learn to say “no.” Saying “no” isn't selfish or lazy-it's being a good steward of one's resources, whether physically, emotionally or materially.

 

Colbert adds that our ultimate guide to stress-free living is to follow the confident and assertive example of Jesus Christ.