Secret Sin

The revelation in November of Ted Haggard’s visiting a male prostitute in Denver sent shock waves through the church and gave late-night comedians new reasons to ridicule Christians as hypocrites.

If someone as high profile, articulate and seemingly “together” as Ted Haggard could fall, what about the rest of us?

Ted is my close friend and I grieve over his pain. I didn’t suspect his problem because it was secret sin. Like Ted, many of us keep our sins secret because we fear disclosure.

After all, look what disclosure meant to Ted—he lost everything that took a lifetime to build and hurt his wife, family, local church and the body of Christ.

The Bible says sin is pleasant for a season, but then destruction (see Heb. 11:25).

Thankfully, strong men such as pastors Jack Hayford and Tommy Barnett are coming around Ted and helping to restore him. That’s biblical (see Gal. 6:1).

And Ted is humbly trying to rebuild his life. In a personal e-mail to me, Ted wrote:

“I trust that God will take these ashes and turn them into a demonstration that God can, in fact, take me, the best-known sinner, and prove that Jesus, the body of Christ and the Word of God can work in powerful ways to put flesh and life on dried broken bones like mine.”

Ted admits he struggled with his secret sin all his adult life. How much better if he had gotten help years ago before his sin set him up to “fall.”

What secret sin is in your life? You may not have a public scandal like Ted, but when your sin is revealed it will hurt your family and those around you just as much. And it may damn your soul to hell.

This is a wake-up call. There is help available for you. Whether through prayer, counseling, ministry of deliverance or accountability, stop hiding your sin and bring it into the open where God can deal with it.

With resources and ideas at newmanmag.com we can help you deal with your secret sin before it deals you a lethal blow.
And all our prayers are with you, Pastor Ted, and anyone else struggling with a secret sin.

Stephen Strang is founder and publisher of New Man magazine.

Here are some ministries that I recommend:

Heart to Heart Counseling Center: Launched by author, speaker and licensed professional counselor Dr. Douglas Weiss, Heart to Heart Counseling Center in Colorado Springs, Colo., specializes in treating sexual sin. The executive director of the center, Weiss offers 3 Day Intensive sessions, and telephone counseling and telephone support groups for men as well as their wives who have been hurt by sexual sin. For more information, visit sexaddict.com or drdougweiss.com. Contact Heart to Heart Counseling Center at 719-278-3708 or heart2heart@xc.org.

Elijah House: Founded by authors, speakers and Christian counselors John and Paula Sandford, Elijah House is a Spokane Valley, Wash.-based prayer and counseling ministry that focuses on inner healing. Each year, many individuals and families come from around the world to Elijah House to be ministered to and to receive help for overcoming woundedness and sin. Elijah House also offers ministry to pastors, leaders, Christian counselors (professional and lay) and a variety of other professionals. For more information, visit elijahhouse.org or contact 509-321-1255 and eh.info@gmail.com.

Emerge Ministries: Emerge Ministries, a Christian counseling center in Akron, Ohio, specializes in helping ministers and missionary families. Started by author and professional psychologist Dr. Richard Dobbins, Emerge has been rebuilding lives and training clinicians and pastors for more than 30 years. For more information, visit emerge.org or drdobbins.com. Contact Emerge Ministries at 800-621-5207 or emerge@emerge.org. Contact Dr. Richard Dobbins at 330-865-1403.

Bethany World Prayer Center: Bethany World Prayer Center in Baton Rouge, La., offers a weekend retreat called the “Journey to the Cross” in which eight sessions are covered that relate to the root causes of bondage and deliverance. Larry Stockstill, senior pastor of the church, says more than 5,000 men and senior pastors have gone through the sessions, which leads participants to freedom in Christ and deliverance from sin. Click here for more information, or contact 225-774-1700.

Exodus International: Based in Orlando, Fla., Exodus International is a nonprofit organization that promotes the message of “freedom from homosexuality through the power of Jesus Christ” to both men and women in 17 countries. For more information, visit exodus.toor contact 888-264-0877.

Pure Life Ministries: Founded by Steve and Kathy Gallagher, Kentucky-based Pure Life Ministries helps lead Christians to victory over sexual sin and a deeper life in God by providing biblically based counseling, teaching materials and a public speaking ministry. For more information, visit purelifeministries.org. Contact Pure Life Ministries at 859-824-4444 or information@purelifeministries.org.

Stone Gate Resources: Stone Gate Resources points people away from sexual sin to restored intimacy with God and others. For the past 15 years, more than 2,000 people have come to the Colorado-based ministry for its Brief Intensive Counseling and Restoring Sexual Purity Workshops. For more information, visit stonegateresources.org. Contact Stone Gate Resources at 888-575-3030 or info@stonegateoffice.com.

Pure Intimacy: Pure Intimacy is a ministry of Focus on the Family that focuses on “recovering the heart of sexuality.” Pure Intimacy provides a free one-time counseling service from licensed Christian therapists, who are qualified to handle issues related to sex addiction, pornography, abuse, marital problems and matters involving children. For more information, visit pureintimacy.org or contact 719-531-3400 ext. 7700 weekdays.

Here are some books that offer help for overcoming sexual sin:

Sex, Men and God by Doug Weiss
Pursuing Sexual Wholeness: How Jesus Heals the Homosexual by Andrew Comiskey
Straight Up by Michael Stevens Sr.
Intimate & Unashamed by Scott Farhart
Teaching Your Children The Truth About Sex by Dr. Richard Dobbins
Intimacy by Doug Weiss
Healing Victims of Sexual Abuse by Paula Sandford
Why Some Christians Commit Adultery by John Sandford
Healing for a Woman's Emotions by Paula Sanford
When Good Men Are Tempted by Bill Perkins
Sexual Healing: A Biblical Guide to Finding Freedom from Sexual Sin and Brokenness by David Kyle Foster
False Intimacy: Understanding the Struggle of Sexual Addiction by Harry Schaumburg

Here are some encouraging articles from New Man that deal with sexual sin and addictions, restoration and being accountable:

Breaking the Seductive SilenceThis man told his wife about his secret struggle and saved his marriage.

Seven Steps to "Sex-cess"Live in a sex-charged culture, without getting zapped!

For Better, and for WorsePornography. Infidelity. Abuse. How can couples deal with the secret shame of the past and build a new future?

Real Biblical AccountabilityThough accountability has its limits, you need it if you want to grow into a man of integrity and maturity.

A Light in the ClosetFor Christian men fighting the everyday battle with same-sex attraction, changing is not the goal--knowing Christ is. And knowing Christ brings change.

Sex, Lies and Forgiveness
For Your Daughter's Sake
The Secret That Ruins Great Sex
15 Years of Freedom
Entertainment or Willful Voyeurism?
Is Deliverance the Key to Set You Free?
The Amputation Answer
Don't Be a Sucker for Seduction!No More Secrets
Solo Sex
The XXX Files

Rocky Balboa: Tough Guy With a Heart

You gotta love a tough guy with a heart.

Well … maybe you “don’t gotta,” as Rocky would say it – but you probably will when you see his new film, opening Wednesday.

Yeah, that Rocky. Rocky Balboa. The human punching bag of five previous movies. The legendary boxer who never gives up, even while his face is being pounded into goo by the fiercest fighters on the planet.

He’s back -- with a sixth flick, the self-titled Rocky Balboa -- the matching bookend to Rocky, the Oscar-winning first film in the series from Sylvester Stallone.

Wait a minute. The first film won an Oscar?

Three of them, in fact, including Best Picture (1976). If you’re like me, the formulated sequels that followed movie No. 1 made it easy to forget Hollywood ever rewarded Rocky with its hallowed statue of gold.

Thankfully, movie No. 6 brings back the shining inner quality that made movie No. 1 sincerely memorable -- Rocky’s heart of gold.

Fitting, then, that Philadelphia’s small-time loan-shark enforcer turned famous boxer is back where it all began -- his blue-collar neighborhood in The City of Brotherly Love. It’s the perfect place for a tough guy with a heart.

Rocky’s aging now, of course. Retired from fighting (and collecting debts). Fit, but sort of doughy-looking. Certainly too out of shape to box and presumably too old to. He again lives in a modest, working-class house with his two turtles and still enjoys an occasional glass of raw eggs for breakfast.

He drives an equally aging white van, like an Econoline that might double as the work and family vehicle. No limo, Lexus, Benz or Escalade needed. Rocky’s back home.

He’s a working owner of a restaurant –Adrian’s -- an Italian place named for his now-deceased wife. We’re not sure what became of his boxing earnings (invested in the restaurant, it’s presumed) but his fighter accolades adorn the eatery, where he entertains customers with his old stories.

Rocky thrives in this environment. He’s a clownlike figure, slightly goofy and pitiable, who engages people in his personable, heartwarming way. He’s also a pastoral figure in his neighborhood who is cloaked behind his “big kid” persona, frumpy clothes and undersized hat.

In contrast, though, he foreshadows the fire still inside him when he sets a local bully straight in an early scene. But soon afterward his tenderhearted side is back, when he befriends down-on-her-luck “Little” Marie (Geraldine Hughes), the youngster in the first movie who gave him an earful when he scolded her for smoking. She’s grown, with a teenage son, and becomes one of his closest allies.

With Rocky’s personality firmly established, Stallone proceeds to carry this well-acted film, with excellent supporting help from veteran actor Burt Young, who’s back from Rocky as Adrian’s brother Paulie.

Stallone’s believability in-character rallied viewers to stand, applaud and cheer for him at special moments throughout the drama – which includes, of course, a climactic fight.

A slick pair of boxing promoters throw down the boxer’s bait – the type of challenge Rocky can’t refuse – and he bites. It’s off to Las Vegas (after a season of meat-grinder training) for an HBO-PPV fight under casino lights against the world heavyweight champ, Mason “The Line” Dixon (Antonio Tarver).

The night before the main event, after the bigger and younger Dixon tries to intimidate his underdog opponent, Rocky delivers Dixon his signature answer: “Yo! It ain’t over till it’s over.”

Looking befuddled, Dixon mocks, “What’s that from – the ’80s?”

To which Rocky retorts good-naturedly, “Nah … more like the ’70s.”

Stallone’s shout-out to Rocky 30 years past drew a roar of laughter from the audience. But -- as this latest sequel proves – Rocky ain’t over till he’s over, movie fans.

Rocky Balboa shows us why. It’s because we love a tough guy with a heart.

By Jimmy Stewart, managing editor of Charisma magazine, charismamag.com.

'Rocky Balboa': A Feel-Good Movie

When I saw the headline on Google last month I just chuckled and jumped to the next story. I was 12 when the third one was released and pretty much like all the other guys idolized the Italian Stallion. But a sixth Rocky movie? Get real.

Then this past week, a friend from work offered a ticket to a pre-screening. I caved. I figured I’d pay homage to my childhood hero, no matter how old Sylvester “Rocky” Stallone is (he’s 60).

Turns out my childhood hero came through—big time. The latest Rocky—titled Rocky Balboa (thank God they opted out of Rocky VI)—took me, and the entire theater of cheering and shouting fans for a ride.

Stallone brings out the better parts, the ones we all miss, from the original Rocky movies. Rocky is an underdog again. His life is grittier. His apartment is good and cramped—like the two ugly turtles with no swimming room in the fish tank by his bed.

The Philadelphia streets outside his window have all gone down the tubes. He walks down them like he’s connected again to the goons by the piers in Rocky—you know, a thumb in one pocket and a few pinkies in the other.

Rocky is again gulping down raw eggs. He probably stands no prayer at winning the fight that I won’t tell you about, but it doesn’t matter. I was again lost like a 6-year-old boy in the character of Rocky. I was Rocky. I could do it. I could make it. Dig deep. All that stuff.

I noticed something else about Rocky that I never really knew as a kid. He’s a good man. People insult him and he tries to find a way for them to save face. He’s good to his neighbors. He’s good to his pets. Strangers seem to always hold assumptions about him, but he doesn’t return the distaste. Decency. He presents all the good wrapped up in the traditional Italian-Catholic community.

Rocky Balboa, which hits theaters nationwide Wednesday, Dec. 20, is a feel-good movie that’s well worth the tribute to Stallone.

By Steven Ghiringhelli, assistant news editor of Charisma magazine, charismamag.com.