A Guy's Guide to Father's Day
In 1926, when my dad was two years old his father abandoned him. It is something from which our family lineage has still not fully recovered. The impact of a father, for better or for worse, is felt forward for many generations. My grandfather contacted my dad when I was in high school. I asked my dad, “Why didn’t you let him come see you?”
My dad didn’t want anything to do with him.
My dad said, “I was only two when he left. I never knew the man. He didn’t want anything to do with me then, so I don’t want anything to do with him now.”
Back then, as a high school student, I didn’t know what to say. Today, I do, but it’s too late. My dad has passed away.
Breaking the Cycle
My dad wanted to break the cycle and, in many ways, he did. He taught me integrity, the value of hard work, and how to respect a woman. I will always be grateful. But my dad also let me down in some key areas. He didn’t want to, but he did. He was a good man, but he had a lot to overcome. He suffered for the sins of his own father.
My dad tried to break the cycle and became a leader in our church. But, regrettably, our church didn’t put a strong emphasis on building godly men, husbands, and fathers. As a result, we dropped out of church when he was 40 and I was in the 10th grade.
Our entire family lineage is still reeling from that decision: two high school dropouts (I was one of them), drug addiction, alcoholism, employment problems, and divorce. I even have a brother who died of a heroin overdose.
One reason I’m so passionate about helping men is because of what I’ve seen God do in my own family line. By God’s grace, I became a follower of Jesus in my early twenties. Since then, everyone in our family, except one brother, has put their faith in Jesus. Patsy and I have been married for 30 years. My children can never remember a day they didn’t know and love Jesus Christ.
So, “Dad, if you can hear me, thanks for all you did. We did break the cycle, and we did it because of your determination. I have been able to finish in my generation what you started in your generation.”
A Final Thought
Any Christian counselor will tell you, “There is something about a man’s relationship with his father that touches every aspect of his life.” Indeed, ask a group of men on a retreat to discuss, “What was your relationship with your father like?” and you will soon have a room full of blubbers—many because their dads were so encouraging, and the rest because they don’t feel like their dads loved them or were proud of them.
So this is not a message about how to be a good dad on Father’s Day, but a good son. Bless your father this year. If you can reconcile with your past, you won’t be doomed to repeat the sins of your father or father’s father. You will be a good dad to your own kids. You will have broken the cycle. You will be free.
Business leader, author, and speaker, Patrick Morley helps men to think more deeply about their lives, to be reconciled with Christ, and to be equipped for a larger impact on the world. Visit his Web site, www.maninthemirror.org
My dad didn’t want anything to do with him.
My dad said, “I was only two when he left. I never knew the man. He didn’t want anything to do with me then, so I don’t want anything to do with him now.”
Back then, as a high school student, I didn’t know what to say. Today, I do, but it’s too late. My dad has passed away.
Breaking the Cycle
My dad wanted to break the cycle and, in many ways, he did. He taught me integrity, the value of hard work, and how to respect a woman. I will always be grateful. But my dad also let me down in some key areas. He didn’t want to, but he did. He was a good man, but he had a lot to overcome. He suffered for the sins of his own father.
My dad tried to break the cycle and became a leader in our church. But, regrettably, our church didn’t put a strong emphasis on building godly men, husbands, and fathers. As a result, we dropped out of church when he was 40 and I was in the 10th grade.
Our entire family lineage is still reeling from that decision: two high school dropouts (I was one of them), drug addiction, alcoholism, employment problems, and divorce. I even have a brother who died of a heroin overdose.
One reason I’m so passionate about helping men is because of what I’ve seen God do in my own family line. By God’s grace, I became a follower of Jesus in my early twenties. Since then, everyone in our family, except one brother, has put their faith in Jesus. Patsy and I have been married for 30 years. My children can never remember a day they didn’t know and love Jesus Christ.
So, “Dad, if you can hear me, thanks for all you did. We did break the cycle, and we did it because of your determination. I have been able to finish in my generation what you started in your generation.”
A Final Thought
Any Christian counselor will tell you, “There is something about a man’s relationship with his father that touches every aspect of his life.” Indeed, ask a group of men on a retreat to discuss, “What was your relationship with your father like?” and you will soon have a room full of blubbers—many because their dads were so encouraging, and the rest because they don’t feel like their dads loved them or were proud of them.
So this is not a message about how to be a good dad on Father’s Day, but a good son. Bless your father this year. If you can reconcile with your past, you won’t be doomed to repeat the sins of your father or father’s father. You will be a good dad to your own kids. You will have broken the cycle. You will be free.
Business leader, author, and speaker, Patrick Morley helps men to think more deeply about their lives, to be reconciled with Christ, and to be equipped for a larger impact on the world. Visit his Web site, www.maninthemirror.org
posted by Drew Dyck at 3:56 PM
3 Comments:
WOW! You have spoken the words of my family with one exception, my real grandma left my dad and his two sisters when my dad (oldest) was 6 and from that very breakdown in family, my dad's dad struggled with importance and my dad still does struggle with importantance. My extented family reads as a mess in marriage and family breakdowns, all except my dad's five kids. He set out to break the cycle but has been suffering with guilt of sin that is not his to hold.
I'm a pastor who would like to use your words, unedited, with credits to you, in my fathers day message because they speak of such real pain and real need to rely on Jesus for healing.
I will also pass this along to my dad who is struggling with the lose of his real mother who has never owned him or loved him.
Thank-you and God Bless.
Vern Knutson
Crestview Fellowship Church
Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
R2Y 0H3
I don't see anywhere in the post, but this testimony sounds like that of Pat Morley, of Man In The Mirror ministries. I see that the person who posted it was Drew Dyck, perhaps you can get the contact information from him.
Yes, this post was written by Patrick Morley, founder of Man in the Mirror ministries.
Assistant Editor New Man magazine,
Drew Dyck
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