Raising Confident Kids

When your children have high levels of confidence, they are better equipped to think long-term, set meaningful goals, and cope with peer pressure. They also make wiser decisions into adulthood. Self-confidence multiplies your child's potential.

Fortunately, self-confidence is not an accident. It is a mental skill that your child can and must learn. As a father, you have a great responsibility in this area.

It is very easy to let your children become aware of their weaknesses. We’re often quick to dwell on the “C” rather than the “A’s” and “B's” on the report card. But this is not the path to high performance.

Kids with real confidence have what I call a “Positive Memory.” This means that they tend to notice and stay mindful of what they do right, instead of what they do wrong. This mental habit is learned (or not learned) as a result of exposure to grown-ups who possess and emphasize this positive memory.

When your children see that they’ve made progress–even a little–they want to succeed even more. This gets the momentum going. Often, as dads, we shut our eyes to the progress our kids are making because we’re fixated on perfection. But demanding perfection is a toxic mental habit that only serves to amplify your children’s weaknesses.

Fortunately, it is possible for you to coach your child to build the success quality of “Positive Memory.” In life, there will always be good stuff and bad stuff. Your children's life experience though, will be dominated by what they choose to focus on. Why not give this gift of intentional thinking to your children early in life? They just may make it a lifelong habit.

Tommy Newberry is the author of Success Is Not an Accident and The 4:8 Principle available fromTyndale House Publishers this fall.