Failing Homosexuals

If you're like me—a theologically conservative Christian—you probably get sick of being labeled "homophobic." You hear it in the secular media all the time: people who oppose the practice of homosexuality are benighted, backward and bigoted. Above all we’re accused of being scared stiff of gay people.

I can honestly say that, for me, this is not the case. Yes, I believe homosexuality is a sin. But I do not fear homosexuals. Being around them does not make me squeamish. I have no visceral reaction of disgust when I meet them. I regard them much as I do anyone ensnared by destructive desires—with sympathy and hope for renewal.

But there is something that I must confess. By and large we evangelicals have done a poor job of reaching out to homosexuals.

I know I have. My first failing might be excused. I was about 13 years old when a confused buddy admitted he was experiencing same-sex attraction. “That’s weird, man” was about all I could offer.

I wouldn’t think about the topic until a few years later when the worship leader of our church stood in front of the congregation and confessed he was gay. He immediately stepped down from leadership and submitted to a course of restoration.

That wasn’t enough for some folks. My father was the pastor and heard their complaints. “I’m not bringing kids to a church with a homosexual in it!” one man shouted.

I’m proud to say that my father stood his ground. He refused to banish a repentant sinner from the community. Soon after he would lose his pastorate in no small part because of that controversial, but Christ-like, stand.

My next experience was just a few years ago. My landlord was gay. He invited my wife and I over for a casual party at his place. My wife had to work on the night of the party, but I decided to go alone. When I opened the door to his place, I suddenly found myself among thirty gay men sipping wine and discussing art.

I felt very out of place. I wasn’t scared—just awkward. What could I say to these men who were so very different from me? I grew up playing and talking sports with my father and three older brothers. I had no idea how to relate to these men.

After about a half hour of stilted conversation I excused myself and slipped out the door.

I should have stayed. I should have reached out to those men. I should have let them know that Christians care enough to push past their comfort zones to show them the love of God.

Next time I will. I hope you do too.