Countercultural Marriage

The following is a quote about marriage from theologian Dietrich Bonhoeffer. It is taken from a letter that he wrote from his prison cell in Nazi Germany to a young newly married couple. It’s a little heavy, but well worth reading:

Marriage is more than your love for each other. It has a higher dignity and power, for it is God's holy ordinance, through which he wills to perpetuate the human race till the end of time. In your love you see only your two selves in the world, but in marriage you are a link in the chain of the generations, which God causes to come and to pass away to his glory, and calls into his kingdom.

In your love, you see only the heaven of your own happiness, but in marriage you are placed at a post of responsibility towards the world and mankind. Your love is your own private possession, but marriage is more than something personal—it is a status, an office. Just as it is the crown, and not merely the will to rule, that makes the king, so it is marriage, and not merely your love for each other, that joins you together in the sight of God and man.

I like this quote because it expresses a truth about marriage that radically opposes the dominant view in our culture. I can’t count how many times—in movies and in real life—I have heard someone proffer the flimsiest excuses for exiting a marriage: “We just fell out of love,” or “We didn’t make each other happy anymore.” These lines are delivered with straight faces, as if the only criterion for evaluating marriage is personal happiness.

In our me-first era it’s good to be reminded that marriage isn’t all about us. Don’t be fooled by the messages coming from the surrounding culture. Marriage is not a flippant agreement, easily voided the moment it fails to deliver emotional benefits. It’s a sacred covenant with a much larger purpose than just making us happy. It involves God, our family and the whole of society.

Oprah's False Gospel

I don't like Oprah's show. That's probably no surprise. Most guys don't. Judging from the hundreds of screaming women you see when the camera pans the audience, I’m guessing we’re not exactly the target market.

But whether you’re a fan or not, there’s no denying her incredible influence. Oprah’s endorsement can send a book to the top of the bestseller’s list or maybe even make a president.

It’s no different when it comes to her impact on people’s spirituality. Millions seem to hang on her every word and unblinkingly accept the teaching of each guru she hosts on the show. Though Oprah identifies herself as a Christian, her form of spirituality bears little resemblance to historic Christianity. Her brand of spirituality is not only vacuous—it’s dangerous as well. She teaches that every religion is equally valid and that God is merely a feeling or energy.

I believe we need to take Oprah’s influence seriously. Don’t assume that your wife and children aren’t being affected by her ideas. Her generous references to Jesus and God have duped many Christians into thinking her teaching is orthodox. Since she borrows language from Christianity, her New Age ideas are especially insidious. We must clearly delineate between Oprah-brand spirituality and true Christian faith. We don’t need to feel threatened by the Oprah machine. But we should actively counter her ideas and find “teachable moments” to show family and friends what true spirituality really looks like.

Words I Hate

We all have pet peeves. My pet peeves have mostly to do with words. Maybe it's because I'm an editor, but some words really irritate me. Overused words. Misused words. Made-up-on-the-spot-and-used-with-confidence words.

But do you know what really gets under my skin? Words with hidden agendas built in. Often the word itself is fine, but the way it’s used has been corrupted.

This week I felt like venting, so here’s a short list of my least favorite (or most often butchered) words. Enjoy!

Heterosexism
I first heard this word in college. My professor noted that a TV commercial was “heterosexist” because it featured only straight couples and no homosexuals. I couldn’t believe my ears. Now every commercial must show gay couples too? The word was designed to make homosexual behavior seemed normative. Talk about an agenda!

Intolerance
In the dictionary tolerance basically means putting up with something you don’t like. But in our culture the usage has strayed far from this denotation. Now tolerance means agreeing with or actively endorsing any and every behavior, no matter how bizarre or evil. “Intolerance” has also become the catchall for anything bad. A friend of mine heard someone opine that Nazism was the result of unchecked intolerance. No doubt the Nazis were intolerant. But was that really their greatest sin? What about racism or genocide? Nope. They were just intolerant. If only they had taken the proper diversity training classes perhaps the holocaust could have been averted.

Dialogue
Now I know what you’re thinking: What could possibly be wrong with dialogue? Again, nothing if you adhere to the strict dictionary definition—“an exchange of ideas and opinions.” But that’s often not how it’s used. “Dialogue” has come to designate a softheaded attitude toward truth and absolutes. This is especially true regarding religious dialogue, where all participants are implicitly forced to surrender any exclusive claim to the truth for the sake of an artificial unity.

Fundamentalism
OK, if you’ve read this far you’re probably thinking I’m a fundamentalist. But you’d be wrong! The term “fundamentalism” is thrown around a lot these days and often at the wrong targets. For instance, all evangelicals are routinely labeled as fundamentalists by the mainstream press. Extremists of all stripes are called fundamentalists too. Even terrorists are called fundamentalists.

A serious clarification is due. Fundamentalism was a movement born in the early part of the 20th century in Protestantism. In reaction to modernity’s attacks on the authority of the Bible, Milton and Lyman Steward published a series of tracks called “The Fundamentals.” It listed the nonnegotiable doctrines of the Christians faith such as the belief in the Virgin Birth and the Ressurection of Christ. The movement that resulted also had particular views of the surrounding culture. Today fundamentalists are people who—in addition to holding to these core beliefs—have an isolationist approach to the culture. They may shun theaters, dancing or the consumption of any alcohol. To apply the term fundamentalist to people who blow up buildings is not only inaccurate, it’s also a rather cruel insult to the quite harmless teetotaling Christians who rightfully bear the title.

Carbon Offsets
I’m not against the environment. Far from it, in fact. I think creation care is paramount, especially in this day of wanton environmental destruction. But what irritates me is the new practice of buying carbon offsets in order to continue an affluent lifestyle while assuaging “eco-guilt” (I may have just coined that term, which I realize is a little hypocritical). For the most part buying carbon offsets is an elitist practice that allows jet-setting celebrities to live lavish lifestyles and then lecture the rest of us about our impact on the planet all while keeping a straight face. Sorry Al Gore.

Adopt a Terrorist for Jesus?

That's what a new web-based ministry, Adopt a Terrorist for Prayer (ATFP) is urging Christians to do.

Though ATFP believes that the government must fight terrorism militarily, it contends that the real war will be won in the spiritual realm.

“You and I can resist the debilitating effects of terrorism by identifying with this prayer movement, encouraging each other, and challenging others to join,” said ATFP founder Dr. Thomas Bruce.

My initial reaction to this ministry was a little cynical. At first blush the whole notion of “adopting a terrorist” sounded gimmicky, even dangerously naive.

But as I thought about it, I began to see the genius of this audacious approach. The idea of actively petitioning God on behalf of the most hated enemies has potential to change——not only terrorists——but our own hearts as well.

On the topic of enemies Jesus is unequivocal: “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you.” (Luke 6:27)

But how often do we read these words and completely miss their radical meaning? If any group of people qualifies as our enemies, it would be terrorists. Yet when terrorists are mentioned “love” is usually last word we ever hear, even from Christians.

I’m not saying that terrorists don’t have to be brought to justice. They do. They are evil men and loving them certainly doesn't mean condoning their evil acts. But I’ve grown tired of hearing gruff calls for their blood from people claiming to follow Christ. Terrorists are deluded and dangerous. They are also made in the image of God. He loves them and so must we. We should pray fervently that God will convict them and bring them into His family.

Terrorism is a huge political problem and perhaps even an existential threat. Politicians have called it the “transcendent challenge” of our time. But for the church I see it as a test. Will we love our enemies or succumb to their hate? The world is watching——and so is the One who extended love and forgiveness to His tormentors from a wooden cross.