Our Last-Minute Gift-Buying Guide for Husbands

It's Dec. 17, so you know what that means. Time to figure out what your wife wants for Christmas! I've heard that some men out there have all their Christmas shopping finished before Thanksgiving. Personally, I believe that's a myth. I've never once met a man who didn't have to make one desperate, last-ditch run to the mall this week for at least a few gifts. My father believes in the "24-hour rule," which states that any gift purchased before Christmas Eve doesn't count.

In our never-ending effort to help you guys out, we offer you the New Man guide to last-minute Christmas shopping. These tips are brought to you by a man with years of experience as a procrastinator—so take advantage of them!

1. Don't buy from kiosks.

I know that it's scary to walk into the women's clothing stores, and I know that it is so much easier just to pick up one of the nice, shiny things on display at the kiosk right in front of you. Even though the nice woman selling the miracle cream from the Dead Sea is convincing, don't give in.

Women know when you get something from a kiosk, and it won't turn out well. One year former New Man editor Drew Dyck purchased a variety of his wife's gifts from the "As Seen on TV" kiosk, thinking they would be a surefire hit. They were an epic failure.

2. Develop your parking skills.

One key to a good last-minute Christmas shopping run is a good parking job. If possible, look for any side entrances, such as the garden areas at Walmart and Target. If there's no entrance there, and the parking lot is a zoo, you have to refine your "follow someone to their car" skills.

Rookies will pick anybody leaving the store and follow them, but experienced Christmas Eve shoppers know that some people take longer get in their cars than others. Never follow someone with kids, someone who looks over the age of 75 or the Herculean woman carrying 18 bags. It will take them so long to get in their cars that you'd be better off parking across the street. The best bet is to find another man like you who is half-running across the lot to get to his next location.

3. Buy chocolate, but not too much.

Chocolate is one of those go-to items every year for the man on a shopping trip. You can't go wrong unless your wife is one of the two women in the U.S. who don't like it. The key with chocolate is not buying too much. It's a delicate balance because every woman wants a little chocolate on Christmas day, but no woman wants to pigout. Plus, in my experience, there's a bigger advantage to buying better quality chocolate than a lot of it. I can't tell the difference between a Snickers bar and a fancy truffle, but my wife can.

4. When in doubt on clothing, go with the smaller size.

Clothing is a risky item to place on the Christmas list. As a gift, it can be a big hit or a dangerous mistake. First of all, it's a good bet never to go with a piece of clothing unless your wife specifically mentioned it beforehand or another woman who knows her recommended it to you. Anything else is a shot in the dark.

More important is finding the right size. Like Rule 3, there's a delicate balance between finding something that fits but also not making your spouse feel bad because you bought the wrong size. If you're stuck between two different sizes, always go with the smaller one. Is she a small or a medium? She's a small. Trust me.

5. Remember this: The smaller the box, the better the gift.

This is a counterintuitive rule for men who think exactly the opposite. To a man, bigger boxes are much more fun. After all, you can't fit a TV or a power tool in a box made for a sweater.

For women, the opposite is true. Smaller boxes tend to contain small, shiny things. If you're that guy staring vacantly at the mall directory this Christmas Eve, keep in mind that women like shiny things.

Of course, the best way to find the right gift is to know your wife. If you know what she likes, then you're going to find things she will love. If she likes to be pampered, get her a spa treatment. If she likes to go outdoors, get her something for that. If she likes nice dinners, go for a gift card and a reservation.

In my experience, it's not about how much you spend; it's about how much you thought about it and how well the gift matches her. Or how shiny it is.