Grateful in Tough Times

Last week was a tough week for me and my wife. We found out that a significant portion of our income was going to be cut due to the effects of the economy. It was a situation that I know millions of Americans are finding themselves in each and every day during this economic crisis.

My reaction was predictable. Worry, fear and anxiety pretty much took hold of me for a few days. I started looking all over the place for alternatives to fill in that gap in our income. Of course, those opportunities are getting fewer and fewer as more and more people find themselves in these situations, which of course led me to worry even more.

I knew that my anxiety was groundless, because God had provided for our little family (I’m including our hamster) in a similar situation before. I knew what Jesus says in Matthew 6:25-34, to seek first His Kingdom, and not to worry about tomorrow. But it’s a hard thing to do.

Instead, God did what He often seems to do and flipped me and my wife’s perspective on the whole thing 180 degrees. He didn’t provide a solution immediately and He didn’t magically take away all of our fears. What He did do was shift our focus from what we were losing to the amazing things that we have.

First, we kept reading news about how many other people were losing their jobs and all of their investments. We had only lost a small part compared to these people. Then we saw Slumdog Millionaire over the weekend. The powerful depiction of poverty in India through that film is impossible to get over, and I would challenge anyone to walk away from that movie not being thankful for this country and all the things the Lord provides.

God also showed us other people we knew who were struggling with terrible health issues, from a friend undergoing eye surgery to save her sight to a family member who was recently diagnosed with cancer. Compared to these, our problem seemed so small that we almost felt selfish for focusing on it so much.

It’s funny how the worst times seem to point out the best things in your life. We take so much for granted when everything is going well, as it often does in a place like America. But God is so good, and when things are tough, that’s when He is there in a more powerful way than ever. Even though we may be looking at a tough economic period coming up, my wife and I are truly blessed. We have an amazing love for each other that God has blessed. We have enough to eat and food and shelter. We have the all-encompassing love of God that will never fail. We also have a really cute hamster.

Thank you, Lord, for helping us to have the right perspective when life gets tough.

Movies: To Watch or Not to Watch?

Last week’s piece on chick flicks brought up one of the most disputed topics for New Man readers: what kind of movies are appropriate for Christians to watch? This is a common debate among Christians in America today because movies are such a big part of our culture. When talking about in-the-world-but-not-of-the-world issues, this one hits home for a lot of people. Like most of these gray issues, I find the truth usually lies somewhere in the middle.

The two extreme opinions regarding movie watching among the Christian world also seem to be the most vocal (isn’t that often the case). One the one hand, many don’t think we should watch secular movies at all, or if we do, it shouldn’t be anything more than PG-rated. The reasons behind this view are obvious, because the Bible warns us not to pollute our minds and only to think on things that are good.

On the other hand, there are those who think that Christians should understand our culture, and one of the best ways to do that is by watching movies. Movies are truly the main American art form, and if you want to understand current worldviews in our country, there are few better ways to do it than by closely watching our films. This side of the group says that they only watch movies with a critical eye and are not affected by what they see.

Our chick flick survival guide last week was a prime example of these tensions. We had several responses that were shocked that we would promote these type of movies in our Christian magazine. We also got a huge positive response to it. Many enjoyed the fun, tongue-in-cheek way we handled it. It actually turned out to be the most-read article we’ve had in the last six months. So clearly, a lot of men are falling somewhere in the middle of these two arguments.

To be honest, as a young Christian man who loves to watch and examine a good film, my natural tendency is to fall in line with the latter group. I have to struggle to keep myself more in the middle, because I just enjoy movies a lot. But I understand the value of what that first group says, and I certainly think that what I watch affects me. It’s a hard balancing act to walk, but I think each of us has to walk that line, and I also think the line is different for each of us. Certain things may be all right for you to see and not me, or vice versa. I think that principle is true for a lot of the gray issues in Christianity. The key is to know what we can handle, and to make sure others around us (like our wives or friends) keep us accountable to that.

In line with that thought, starting next week we will be starting a new feature for all of our movie and TV reviews. At the end of each review, we will make sure to tell you what to expect in the way of, shall we say non-Christian content. This isn’t going to be one of those really detailed lists, but we will give you an idea of what to expect in the film so that you can make an informed decision about your entertainment watching.

True Love on Valentine's Day

It’s easy to get cynical about Valentine's Day. It’s a required date night that often can feel artificial and meaningless. It feeds into our consumerist culture by requiring us to purchase cards, flowers and/or chocolates. The whole thing seems to get a bum rap by a lot of men, and often rightly so.

But there’s nothing wrong with celebrating "eros," which is what C.S. Lewis and many others have called the love that God gave men and women at the beginning of time. It’s a special and unique form of love, much different from the love we have for our families, friends and even our children. It’s a love that, when done correctly, is designed to reflect the relationship between Christ and his church.

I’m trying to see Valentine's Day not as a shallow excuse to boost flower sales, but as a reminder to step into the servant-leader role that mirrors the way Christ interacts with us, His people. It’s something that we should be doing every day, but it’s nice to have an evening where we specifically focus on this role and this relationship.

That means Valentine's Day will look different for every man, because every woman wants something different. Some women want the chocolate, the flowers and the romantic movie (if that’s the case, check out our Chick Flick Survival Guide for some fun and helpful tips). Some women don’t care as much for those things, they might just want a break from the kids or a nice quiet talk. Whatever the case, as servant-leaders we need to understand and meet those needs, just as Jesus understands and meets ours.

A Dungy-Like Influence

It’s been a blast to see so many Christian football players and coaches succeed in recent years. Between David Tyree and his helmet catch, Tim Tebow and his championship and Kurt Warner making it back to the Super Bowl, it seems that the name of Jesus Christ has been a regular topic among football fans the last few years, and that is a testament to the way these men have boldly talked about their faith.

But if there’s one man in the sports world that always sticks out to me, it has to be Tony Dungy. Dungy stands apart because not only does he use his public platform as a witness, he also exerts an amazing influence over the people in his private life as well. Check out this story about Dungy’s impact on Super Bowl-winning coach Mike Tomlin. Tomlin spoke out for the first time on a big stage about his faith in Christ and credited a great deal to his relationship with Dungy.

"First and foremost, I want people to know who I am and what the most important thing is in my life, my relationship with Jesus Christ," Tomlin said in response to a Baptist Press question about his personal faith. "Football is what we do; faith is who we are all the time."

Dungy not only brought Tomlin into the NFL as an assistant coach for Tampa Bay, but he also mentored the young coach. He lived a consistent life on and off the field, shared with Tomlin his lessons about leadership, and remained close after they joined different franchises. Today the 36-year-old Tomlin is the youngest coach ever to win the Super Bowl and is universally respected around the league for his leadership and his maturity, so much so that most teams without a coach are looking for “the next Mike Tomlin.”

The beautiful thing is that he’s not the only one over whom Dungy has had this sort of influence. Lovie Smith, head coach of the Chicago Bears, acknowledged his respect and gratitude for Dungy when he made it to the Super Bowl a few years ago. He was also groomed as an assistant coach under Dungy and is now a respected leader who is an outspoken Christian.

Although Dungy officially retired a few weeks ago, his influence clearly lives on through the men he mentored. His integrity and servant’s heart is continuing to pass to the next generation of coaches. We can have that same influence among our circle of family, friends and co-workers. In my interview with Pat Williams (our lead story this issue), he talked a lot about our influence, saying that “every action we take influences somebody.” This really got to me, as I can think of several instances in the last few weeks where my actions were not having the kind of influence I would like to create.

How are you doing in your circle of influence? Are you allowing God to work through your every action? Are you leading and pouring into the lives of other men, and allowing them to pour into you? If anyone has some testimonies or tips on ways they have been an influence in other’s lives, we’d love to hear about them in the comments section.