Celebrity Christians

According to television ratings, the season premier of John & Kate Plus 8 turned out to be way more popular than the NBA playoffs last week. More than 10 million viewers flipped on the tube to watch the Gosselin family celebrate the fifth birthday of their sextuplets. Sadly, this huge ratings boost was not because the kids were going to be especially cute this episode. Most people just wanted to see how the famous evangelical Christian couple were going to deal with the fact that the tabloids caught John going out with another woman during the show's time off.

It's a really sad thing to see a family fall apart, but it's particularly tragic when so many people are tuning in to watch it happen. Up until the last few months, John and Kate had been a huge hit with the Christian community. Despite the fact that the TLC network downplayed the religious side of things, it was clear that the couple were believers. They were heroes with evangelicals from the start, ever since they refused selective abortions for their babies and carried all of them to term. Even though I'm not a watcher, I know quite a few Christian dads who are absolutely hooked.

Unfortunately for the Gosselins, the stress of raising so many children, dealing with their different parenting roles, and now the allegations of an affair have caused the relationship to break down. In the season premiere, the couple was openly talking about divorce as an option. It's not an uncommon tale in today's America, but it's a big deal because of the their status. As soon as they decided to go on national TV, John and Kate placed themselves under the microscope. For Christians, that's a huge responsibility. It means your actions are going to be scrutinized, your motivations questioned and your opinions debated in the public forum. It means you have the opportunity to be a true light, but it also means you've got a big target on you.

Just ask Tim Tebow. Recently his former teammate Percy Harvin said that if he could be one person for a day, it would be his old QB. Why? "Some of the stuff and some of the girls and things that were thrown at him," Harvin said. "We saw all kind of actors and news reporters just kind of blatantly say, 'Tebow, I want you.' And he turned them down. I'm looking at him, like, 'Man, you are crazy.'" Tebow knows he has a responsibility to the Christian community he represents. He's held to a higher standard, one that he has because of his very public demonstrations of faith.

The challenge for us nonfamous Christians is that we are held to the same standard. God sees no distinction between famous Christians and regular people like you and me. He has called us to live in His ways and show spiritual fruit in our lives. It's easy to criticize famous Christians like the Gosselins and blame them for the bad rap that evangelicals can have publicly. But a Barna poll from last year showed that among people who dislike Christians and are hostile to the faith, most of them feel that way because of personal contact they have had with the Christians in their lives.

We may not be famous, but we have a circle of influence, and we are held to the same standards as people like the Gosselins and Tebow. Don't take the easy road and blame others. Go out and be salt and light.

Defining Spiritual Maturity

A recent Barna survey shows that a majority of America's churchgoers cannot define what spiritual maturity means. That's a pretty astounding statistic considering the amount of churches and resources available to Christians in our country. At no time in history have so many people had so much access to books, classes, ministries and education geared toward growing their faith. Yet, most believers cannot articulate what a spiritually mature Christian looks like.

For many of you, that might not be surprising. A lot of Christian men and leaders have been complaining for years about the church's lack of maturity.

But one of the more interesting stats from the study shows that the problem may be staring at us from the mirror. Nearly 90 percent of pastors said that a lack of spiritual maturity is the most significant, or one of the largest, problems facing the nation; yet a minority of pastors believe that spiritual immaturity is a problemin their church.

What a great "man excuse":

"Sure—it's a huge problem; just not for me and my friends."

Now, to be fair, spiritual maturity is one of those things that is hard to define in a sound bite. It's a multifaceted thing that you can more easily see in someone's life than spell out in a sentence.

However, the most troubling stat from the study, for me, was that church leaders could not support the topic biblically. When asked to identify the most important portions of the Bible that define spiritual maturity, 75 percent of pastors gave generic answers, such as "the whole Bible" (33 percent), "the Gospels" (17 percent) or "the New Testament" (15 percent). Just 20 percent cited specific verses in their answer.

How are believers supposed to mature spiritually when our own leaders can't offer biblical explanations for what that looks like?

The section of Scripture that stands out to me when thinking about spiritual maturity is Galatians 5:22-23: "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law." God says to us that these qualities are evidence that someone is walking with Him. These are the signs of a Christian, and the more you see them in someone's life, the more mature, or the more like Christ, that person is.

The beautiful thing about the fruit of the Spirit is that it's not just a set of rules. In the survey, 81 percent of self-identified Christians said that "trying hard to follow the rules described in the Bible" is a good definition of spiritual health.

I don't know about you, but most of the spiritually mature men and women I have known and looked up to in my life haven't been "trying hard" to follow the rules, they just have such a close walk with God that they can't help but display God's character. That's what separates our faith from other religions. We're not trying desperately to obey the rules lest we get struck down. We have the Spirit, and He gives us a desire to do the things of God. The more you walk with Him; the more He changes you.

That's what I think about spiritual maturity. How do you define it? What are you striving for in your walk with God, and what kind of believers do you look up to?

What Does a Real Christian Man Look Like?

One of the many interesting topics that comes up in my current line of work is the debate over what it really means to be a Christian man. I hear it from people I interview, from people who comment and write in, and from articles and blog posts.

You'd be surprised at the wide range of opinions that exist on this subject. Obviously this debate has existed for a long time, but it seems that it's really come into its own since Promise Keepers made it a national topic in the secular media.

Everyone agrees on the problem. Modern Western culture really has a problem figuring out a wholesome masculine image. Traditional gender roles have been turned on their heads in the last 100 years. The feminist movement went from a well-intentioned stand for female rights to an extremist liberal group that is often out of control. Divorce rates and other issues have caused millions of men to grow up without strong father figures, which in turn has led to a generation of fathers trying to figure things out for themselves.

As the body of Christ, we know that our culture has lost a wholesome image of masculinity, but we disagree on the way to get it back. There's a whole gamut of opinions about this, but I've identified some of the most popular. See if any of these ring a bell:

The "Wild" Christian Men: These are the John Eldredge "let's go camping with nothing but shorts and a knife while we eat raw meat and hug each other around a fire" guys. Wild At Heart and Eldredge's other books have had a huge influence on the men's movement, with an emphasis on following the sense of adventure God has placed in your heart. It's an appeal that really hits men on an emotional level and makes it OK for us to want to live out our dreams as Maximus or William Wallace. Eldredge and those like him have really hit home with a lot of Christian guys out there, but critics often cite a lack of biblical foundation among these outdoorsy types. Which lead us to our next group …

The Smart Christian Men: These are the guys who will critically take apart any other take on the men's movement through their powerful reasoning and superior hermeneutics. Biblical scholarship and intelligence are the keys here, and everyone else who talks about Christian masculinity is just brutish. Check out blogger Phil Johnson's post on Christian masculinity for a good example. It is proper theology and living that are the main message here, none of this rough-and-rugged stuff. Which would, of course, be the opposite of …

The Christian Men on Steroids: Similar to the "Wild" Christian men group, but more extreme, this movement has popped up in the past five years or so. Much of this movement, which is based on the ideas of Eldredge but goes further, focuses on the "sissification" of the church over the last 100 years and how we need to remake churches to appeal specifically to men. Check out Church for Men for an example. These guys want to sing worship songs about battles and conquest; they want short sermons because real men don't like to sit and listen, they like to do. They also focus on activities and service.

Obviously all these different groups have good intentions, and many of them emphasize different aspects of masculinity. So how do we balance them? How do we get the active service, the solid theology and the emotional appeal of all the groups? What does the ultimate, ideal Christian man look like?

That would be Jesus.

Its funny how the source of our faith seems to get lost in the debate among various Christians. Although each group claims a different aspect of Christ, I keep looking to the gospels to see the ideal godly man. Jesus had it all. Want solid thinking? How about constantly answering questions by quoting Scriptures and providing revelations from the Old Testament. Want a strong man? How about a guy who can spend 40 days in the desert without food, or sacrifice Himself for the salvation of everyone? Want a balanced man? How about a guy who treated women with more respect than anyone in His day and age.

I've almost always found that the best answers in Christianity are the most simple ones. If you want to know how to be the best Christian man you can be, look to Jesus.