A Soldier in God's Army

I’ve interviewed a number of missionaries over the last few months for New Man, and, honestly, I feel like a spiritual bum. Seriously, these guys are doing such awesome things for the Lord that I feel like Paulie standing next to Rocky Balboa.

Paul Richardson, the guy we feature in our Q&A today, grew up among headhunters and cannibals in Indonesia—in the remote eastern jungles of the largest Muslim country in the world. His parents brought him back to America as a teenager, but as a young adult he want back to Indonesia to set up Christian-education centers. I have trouble bringing up spiritual conversations with my co-workers, much less with headhunters.

Carl Medearis, the guy we featured last week, is a missionary to Muslims in the Middle East who lived in Lebanon for 12 years. He recently met with leaders of Hezbollah and two of Osama bin Laden’s brothers so he could show them love and learn what it means to truly love your enemies. I have trouble showing love to my neighbors who cook smelly food and stink up our apartment.

Mike Yankoski, whom I talked with a few months ago, once spent five months living as a homeless man to learn how to love the poor. I haven’t volunteered at a homeless shelter since college.

These men have amazing lives, and it’s downright inspiring to see how close they are to the Lord and how important and clear His calling is to them. They are willing to go to extreme places, abandoning the comforts and safety of their homes to reach people who desperately need the gospel.

I always feel convicted after talking with men like this—and I should. However, the funny thing is that, when I really pray and think about it, I don’t feel convicted about where I live or what I’m doing. Instead, I feel convicted about how good a job I’m doing where God has placed me.

See, I think of guys such as Richardson and Medearis as the special-forces soldiers of God’s army. They’re doing the dangerous, outrageous, crazy assignments. That’s what He has called them to do.

Me? I’m a regular enlisted man. I live in suburban America. I have an apartment, a job and a wife. I’m not called to tell headhunters about Jesus; I’m called to tell my neighbors and co-workers about Jesus. I’m not called to give all my money away and live as a homeless man; I’m called to give as much money as I can. I’m not called to pray with leaders of Muslim nations; I’m called to pray with my wife.

God has given me a specific area of responsibility, and I need to do my best to fill the role He has given me now. Will the Holy Spirit lead me in new directions and ask me to do more in the future? I’m sure He will. But, for now, I am where I am for a reason, and I need to listen for God’s voice every day to find out how I can be an influence on those around me.

How Does God Talk to You?

Answers to this question will probably vary based on your background and Christian experience, but I’d like to ask it anyway: How do you hear God’s voice?

I’ve been around a lot of different types of Christians and heard a lot of different answers to that question. I’ve known men who say they regularly hear from God in a clear, obvious way. They know exactly what God is saying to them and confidently move forward.

I’ve been around other men who say the way God talks to them is through the Bible. Reading God’s Word, meditating on it and praying leads them to an understanding of God’s voice and God’s will for them.

I’ve met guys who say they hear from God regularly, like a daily, ongoing conversation. I’ve met other guys who say that God speaks to them only on rare occasions of importance.

I’ve known men who feel that God speaks to them through their experiences and circumstances. They’ll be moving through life, working through something or contemplating something, and the situation puts them in a position in which, all of a sudden, it feels like God is really telling them something.

Finally, I’ve known Christians who take a more questioning, skeptical view of God’s voice. Not wanting to mistake His for something else, they will question the motivations behind what they’re hearing. They will double-check, probe and make sure that God has really spoken to them.

If you’re anything like me, you can relate to almost every group. I think I’ve experienced God’s voice in every way previously mentioned, plus more. God rarely talks to me in the same way every time, but one of the coolest things about the Holy Spirit is that when He does talk to me, I can recognize it.

I may be deep in prayer or driving my car. I may be reading my Bible or reading the news. I may hear a clear, obvious voice or a subtle whisper that is felt more than understood. I may feel close to God at the time or distant from Him. Regardless of the circumstance, when God speaks, I try to recognize it and listen.

So how does God speak to you?

What Lost Says About Being a Man

My wife and I have been getting into the TV show Lost recently (I know, we're really late to the party), and one of the things that has struck me is just how much it speaks to the topic of manliness.

Even if you've never seen the program, I'm sure you know generally what it's about: A group of people crash-landed on an island and have to survive together. They not only must figure out how to stay alive, but they also must face the pressures of living together. Throw in some bizarre mysteries occurring in the jungle, and you have a situation that is going to show what people are truly made of.

One of the interesting themes brought up in the show is the difference between who the characters were before the crash and who they are on the island. Such things as income levels, arrest records and so forth that mean a lot in the real world don't mean much on a deserted island. Instead, being skilled at fishing, hunting, shooting and construction mean a lot more. For instance, one character was a useless cubicle drone for a box company before the crash, but he's also an expert knife hunter, which makes him invaluable.

It naturally makes you question your manliness. If I was stuck on an island, what could I offer? Would I be able to protect people or provide food or shelter? Has our current culture taken away some of these manly qualities? In some ways I believe it has, but one of the cool things about life—and Lost—is that nothing is very simple.

As the show goes along, for example, and the group figures out the basics of how to survive, the other qualities of the characters become much more important. Suddenly leadership, integrity, friendship, wisdom and even faith become more crucial. These traits aren't as obviously useful as being able to hunt, for instance, but they're more important in the long run.

I think a lot of the time we can focus too much on the obvious male characteristics in our lives as well. I wish I were a little stronger, I wish I were a little more handy, and I wish I could fish better. But, in the long run, manliness is more about character than skills. A real man has integrity and wisdom and is a leader. When I think of the greatest, manliest man ever, He did have some sweet skills as a carpenter, but they were not what made Him great.

Learning to Talk With My Wife Is Life-Changing

If you're like me, talking about your problems, issues and fears comes about as naturally as shaking hands with your left hand (surprisingly difficult and almost always awkward). I'm the type of guy who likes to work things out on my own. If there's a problem at work, I'm going to figure out how to fix it. If there's a weight on my shoulders, I'm going to bear it without complaint. I don't know why—I think it's one of those guy things about not wanting to seem weak in front of others. Regardless, it's just the way I've always been.

My wife, on the other hand, is the complete opposite. If something bad happened at work, we're going to talk about it. If she's got a worry on her heart, we're going to talk about it. If there's even an issue that might be coming up months down the road, we're going to talk about it and plan for it.

When we first started going out, I had no idea how to handle this. I felt like a nerdy white guy with no moves at a dance party (I know how that feels because I am one). Talk about my problems? Why would anyone want to do that? Let's just deal with them ourselves and talk about happy things.

However, over the years, one of the many things about my wife that I thank the Lord for is this desire to talk about our issues. God did not put us on this earth so we could live by ourselves; He made us relational people for a reason. We are not supposed to deal with everything by ourselves. We are not strong enough, smart enough or wise enough to deal, alone, with everything the world puts us through.

Of course, self-sufficiency is still something I struggle with. Last week I got some challenging news that was pressing on my mind. My natural reaction to this sort of thing is to deal with it, pretend it's not a problem and figure out what to do about it. Of course, for the whole time it's on my mind, I'm going to be grumpy and irritable.

So instead of doing what I was inclined to do, I just told my wife what was going on the first time we talked about it. Everything in me was screaming not to, that she would think of me as weaker. Everything in me was wrong. As always, she was wise, encouraging and sympathetic. After a five-minute conversation, the weight was off my shoulders.

Guys, I'm pretty young and I don't know a lot about marriage, but one thing I do know is that this world is tough, especially right now, and we were not meant to handle everything by ourselves. If you have a wife, share everything you're going through with her as soon as you can. It's one of the most intimate things you can do.

For you single guys, make sure you've got one or two friends in whom you can confide. It doesn't have to be about big things, either. Often I've found that in accountability groups, we talk only about things we think are important enough to share—it can make you feel a little weak to share what's really bothering you if it's not an end-of-the-world type problem. But if anything is on your mind, talk to your brothers about it. You'll be amazed at how freeing it is and how much they will relate to you.