The New Man Report

What My Hamster Taught Me About Sin

2009-07-02T10:09:00.002-05:00

We almost lost a member of the Glazier family over the weekend. My wife and I are fine, but our little hamster, Polly, barely survived a harrowing adventure. It started when we left for a three-day trip to the beach. After we took off, Polly made an escape attempt worthy of Houdini.

Somehow she managed to chew halfway through her water bottle, used the subsequent leverage to pull it down through its hole, then placed the bottle on the wall to walk up it like a ramp. She's a clever rodent.

When we found her three days later, little Polly had traveled three rooms, navigated a sea of packed and unpacked boxes, climbed up a pair of paint cans stacked on top of each other, and leapt into a bathtub … which is where her epic journey ended. Unable to climb the smooth walls of the tub, Polly was forced to wait for us to come to her rescue.

When we found her, she was pretty pitiful. She had lost a lot of weight, and her fur was all matted. I've never seen her so happy to see us.

The ironic part about all this is that Polly's main hobby, apart from eating and running in a wheel, is trying to escape from her cage. Until now we have managed to foil her escape attempts, but during our trip she managed to make her dreams of escape and freedom a reality, only to find out that it's not so fun on the outside. The freedom to run around wherever she wanted turned into a big problem.

How many times have we guys faced that same dilemma? God has given us these rules to live by, and much like the walls of Polly's cage, they are there for a reason. He created life and designed it to be lived a certain way, and when we don't live it that way, it can be big trouble.

Of course, the sinful nature inside of us makes the other side of the wall seem so much more fun. We say things like, "Look at those guys getting drunk—they're having a blast," or "Just looking at this Web site for a sec won't hurt." It seems like a good idea at the time, but we all know where those roads lead … to being stuck at the bottom of a tub, so to speak.

It's So Hard to Say Goodbye

2009-06-25T12:46:00.000-05:00

Have you ever noticed how awkward and painful goodbyes can be? I moved last week, so I said a lot of goodbyes to a lot of people. Some of those people were close to me; some were mere acquaintances—but none of the goodbyes were easy. Leaving people, especially if you know you're never going to see them again, is such an odd experience.

God made people to be social, to live in communities; so we spend a lot of our time getting to know others and building relationships. We're always asking questions about people, getting to know them better, investing in them—from people as close to us as our family members to those as distant to us as the person we've just met sitting next to us on an airplane.

Then you have to say goodbye, and all that investment is down the tubes.

You've developed a friendship, and it's hard when that friendship ends. We've all felt it. There's the agony of losing someone to death whom you've known your entire life; and there's the slight twinge of regret at not being able to see a co-worker again. No matter how big or small the relationship, there's always pain at the end of it.

I had a buddy in college who was thinking about this as he was saying goodbye to everyone he knew right before graduation. He said that he thought this pain he was feeling every time he said goodbye was a sign that God never intended it to be this way. God originally wanted people to be in community for all time, a never-ending group of friendships that continued on for eternity.

Unfortunately Adam ruined that for everyone, and he caused the first and most painful relationship separation in history—the separation between God and us. That is the disconnected relationship that all these separated relationships point back to. When you feel that ache of pain the next time you say a goodbye, you're feeling an echo of what must have been the most excruciating relationship break in the history of the world.

The beauty in it is that no goodbye is permanent among Christians. God didn't let the relationship break that Adam caused keep us separated from Him forever. He sacrificed His Son so that we could regain that lost relationship with Him and enjoy it for all eternity. Not only that, but we can enjoy the relationships we've already started to develop with our fellow Christians here on earth.

Real Dads of Genius

2009-06-17T14:09:00.003-05:00

I have an awesome dad. He's a man who likes a good chair and a good book. He's a man who loves his sports, especially when the Gators are playing. He's a leader in the church and a respected businessman in the community. God has gifted him with a great deal of wisdom and authenticity, two things that I absolutely love about him. Ever since I can remember, I have always looked up to him and wanted to be like him.

But one of the cool things about God is that he created every dad a little different. There are things all the good ones have in common (faithful, responsible, etc.), but each father out there is his own man and has his own style of fatherhood.

I want to salute all the different types of Christian dads out there in honor of Father's Day this Sunday. In the style of the "Real Men of Genius" commercials, here are New Man's "Real Dads of Genius":

1. We salute you, Mr. Wild at Heart Outdoorsman

The thought of a vacation without a campfire is like a salad without the dressing to you. You would rather rough it through a hurricane with only a compass and a knife than bear the thought of staying in a hotel. Only you could find a way to turn a walk through the park into a spiritual lesson. You see the glory of God through His creation, and you are going to joyfully share that view with your family, even if it kills them. A mountain hike here, a fishing trip there: you won't stop until every square foot of God's green earth has been explored. So here's to you, O navigator of the woods; we hope this Father's Day takes you outside, the place where you truly feel close to God.

2. We salute you, Mr. Armchair Theologian

You've read nearly every book on Christianity that has been written, and you can quote them, too. It doesn't matter if you have to get up at 5:30 in the morning, you're going to get your two chapters in today. Only you can find new spiritual revelations in the Bible by learning the ancient Greek word for "foot." You feel close to God when you learn new things about Him, and you gladly dispense that knowledge and wisdom to your family. When someone has a question, you have an answer, even if it takes you 20 minutes to explain it. So here's to you, O inhabiter of the recliner; we hope this Father's Day finds you with the smell of fresh book-binding and a good lamp.

3. We salute you, Mr. Amateur Sports Coach

You've coached every team your kids have been part of, even if you've never heard of the sport. No experience with lacrosse? No problem. That's the one with the webbed sticks, right? Only you could find a way to teach kids a lesson after receiving a 40-point blowout in basketball. Your passion for sports is rivaled only by your passion for your children, and you are going to share these moments with them, regardless of how embarrassed they get. Everyone can see that your heart is in the right place, even if your players aren't. So here's to you, O stalker of the sidelines, we hope this Father's Day finds you teaching your kids that it's not about wins and losses; it's about how you play the game.

Blessing to all of you dads out there as you juggle your job, marriage, children and other responsibilities. I really hope you have a great day this Sunday. You deserve it.

The Big Vacation in the Sky

2009-06-11T12:39:00.001-05:00

So I'm moving in a week and a half. This means that for the foreseeable future my life will be consumed by boxes. I will be hunting for boxes, taping up boxes, packing boxes, stacking boxes, asking random passersby on the street if they know where more boxes are, and finally moving all those boxes onto a massive boxy vehicle that no one in his right mind should let me drive.

Why all the boxes you ask? Because my wife and I are pack rats. This means we have objects that we will willingly pack up and move, and the only time we will see those objects again is the next time we pack up and move. (What? You expect us to throw out a perfectly good wire even though we have no idea what it plugs into? We might need that!) While this makes the moving experience more time-consuming, it also makes it a lot more fun because we rediscover those things we have kept even with a remote sense of sentimental value.

Looking back over yearbooks, old ticket stubs and forgotten picture frames made me realize how many people I've known whom I will never see again. It's a sad thought, unless the person was a Christian. If he or she was, it should be a joyful thought because I know I am are going to see this person in heaven.

Heaven is one of those subjects that I feel gets totally underplayed by Christians in America (and I myself am completely guilty). We are so busy and so focused on what's going on right now that we are missing out on the fact that we have a guaranteed paradise awaiting us at the end.

Think about how much you look forward to a good vacation. You plan it, make preparations, think about it when you get bored at work, and talk about it excitedly with the people you are going with. Now imagine that you are going on the best possible vacation that exists, that it will literally never end, and that every Christian you've ever known is going to be there partying with you. That's heaven. It's like a honeymoon and a retirement and an awesome family reunion all wrapped up in one.

We should be celebrating this every day. We should be so joyful that we have this to look forward to. We should be planning for it and making preparations. Compared to it, everything else in life pales. All our cars, houses and toys look completely lame because we can't bring them with us.

Here's what C.S. Lewis says on the subject in "The Weight of Glory," his classic essay: "Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires, not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased."

Try to remember the big vacation in the sky awaiting you at the end as you walk through this week. Don't forget about how awesome it's going to be. If we can learn to live in light of it, we will make different decisions. We will spend our money differently. We will look at struggles differently. We will talk to people differently because we will want to look for every opportunity to invite them on our vacation. And we will certainly live life more joyfully.

Now, if I could only find some more boxes ...

Obama's Speech Fails to Focus on Middle Eastern Christians

2009-06-04T15:32:00.001-05:00

President Obama gave what many media outlets are calling a "historic" speech in Cairo earlier today. Designed to make a fresh start with the estranged Islamic population in the Middle East, Obama played to his rhetorical strength, crafting an articulate and balanced speech that tackled a number of big international issues. He straddled the line between conciliation and force with carefully chosen words, and initial reaction from moderate Muslims was positive. The president waxed eloquent on Israelis and Palestinians, Iraqis and Afghanis, Iranians and Hamas.

But the one issue he didn't hit hard was the issue most pressing to many Christians in the area: human rights, particularly religious freedom. One of the most underreported stories regarding the Middle East is the recent growth of Christianity. Although they are still an extreme minority, the number of believers in the Muslim world is going up, despite stringent laws preventing conversion. In Iran alone, official estimates are that 300,000 Christians live in the country, but missionaries say the true number is significantly higher. It's a testimony to the power of God and the dedication of local missionaries that the gospel is growing in one of the countries most dedicated to its eradication.

It's wonderful that Obama is looking to rebuild America's image in this part of the world, and a higher view of our country can certainly have a positive impact on Christian efforts in the region. But the lack of attention to human rights was striking. The speech took place in Cairo, a country that has consistently been called out by international human rights organizations for its treatment of Christians and women. Many of these countries, such as Saudi Arabia, openly outlaw and intimidate Christians, yet where were the calls for peace and justice?

In a recent article from Charisma, Paul Estabrooks, minister-at-large for international Christian rights organization Open Doors, said: "America is perceived, especially in the Muslim world, as representative of Christianity. I think, frankly, they expect him to speak out about the rights of religious minorities in their countries. Even though I agree he would need to do it very diplomatically and carefully because he isn't in a position to tell them how to run their country, certainly he can speak out on behalf of the Christian community, for our brothers and sisters in those lands."

Sadly, Obama missed this opportunity. Though some good may come out of his speech, ultimately, if it doesn't help spread the gospel of Jesus Christ, it will be a wasted effort.

Celebrity Christians

2009-05-28T15:10:00.000-05:00

According to television ratings, the season premier of John & Kate Plus 8 turned out to be way more popular than the NBA playoffs last week. More than 10 million viewers flipped on the tube to watch the Gosselin family celebrate the fifth birthday of their sextuplets. Sadly, this huge ratings boost was not because the kids were going to be especially cute this episode. Most people just wanted to see how the famous evangelical Christian couple were going to deal with the fact that the tabloids caught John going out with another woman during the show's time off.

It's a really sad thing to see a family fall apart, but it's particularly tragic when so many people are tuning in to watch it happen. Up until the last few months, John and Kate had been a huge hit with the Christian community. Despite the fact that the TLC network downplayed the religious side of things, it was clear that the couple were believers. They were heroes with evangelicals from the start, ever since they refused selective abortions for their babies and carried all of them to term. Even though I'm not a watcher, I know quite a few Christian dads who are absolutely hooked.

Unfortunately for the Gosselins, the stress of raising so many children, dealing with their different parenting roles, and now the allegations of an affair have caused the relationship to break down. In the season premiere, the couple was openly talking about divorce as an option. It's not an uncommon tale in today's America, but it's a big deal because of the their status. As soon as they decided to go on national TV, John and Kate placed themselves under the microscope. For Christians, that's a huge responsibility. It means your actions are going to be scrutinized, your motivations questioned and your opinions debated in the public forum. It means you have the opportunity to be a true light, but it also means you've got a big target on you.

Just ask Tim Tebow. Recently his former teammate Percy Harvin said that if he could be one person for a day, it would be his old QB. Why? "Some of the stuff and some of the girls and things that were thrown at him," Harvin said. "We saw all kind of actors and news reporters just kind of blatantly say, 'Tebow, I want you.' And he turned them down. I'm looking at him, like, 'Man, you are crazy.'" Tebow knows he has a responsibility to the Christian community he represents. He's held to a higher standard, one that he has because of his very public demonstrations of faith.

The challenge for us nonfamous Christians is that we are held to the same standard. God sees no distinction between famous Christians and regular people like you and me. He has called us to live in His ways and show spiritual fruit in our lives. It's easy to criticize famous Christians like the Gosselins and blame them for the bad rap that evangelicals can have publicly. But a Barna poll from last year showed that among people who dislike Christians and are hostile to the faith, most of them feel that way because of personal contact they have had with the Christians in their lives.

We may not be famous, but we have a circle of influence, and we are held to the same standards as people like the Gosselins and Tebow. Don't take the easy road and blame others. Go out and be salt and light.

Defining Spiritual Maturity

2009-05-14T07:50:00.001-05:00

A recent Barna survey shows that a majority of America's churchgoers cannot define what spiritual maturity means. That's a pretty astounding statistic considering the amount of churches and resources available to Christians in our country. At no time in history have so many people had so much access to books, classes, ministries and education geared toward growing their faith. Yet, most believers cannot articulate what a spiritually mature Christian looks like.

For many of you, that might not be surprising. A lot of Christian men and leaders have been complaining for years about the church's lack of maturity.

But one of the more interesting stats from the study shows that the problem may be staring at us from the mirror. Nearly 90 percent of pastors said that a lack of spiritual maturity is the most significant, or one of the largest, problems facing the nation; yet a minority of pastors believe that spiritual immaturity is a problemin their church.

What a great "man excuse":

"Sure—it's a huge problem; just not for me and my friends."

Now, to be fair, spiritual maturity is one of those things that is hard to define in a sound bite. It's a multifaceted thing that you can more easily see in someone's life than spell out in a sentence.

However, the most troubling stat from the study, for me, was that church leaders could not support the topic biblically. When asked to identify the most important portions of the Bible that define spiritual maturity, 75 percent of pastors gave generic answers, such as "the whole Bible" (33 percent), "the Gospels" (17 percent) or "the New Testament" (15 percent). Just 20 percent cited specific verses in their answer.

How are believers supposed to mature spiritually when our own leaders can't offer biblical explanations for what that looks like?

The section of Scripture that stands out to me when thinking about spiritual maturity is Galatians 5:22-23: "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law." God says to us that these qualities are evidence that someone is walking with Him. These are the signs of a Christian, and the more you see them in someone's life, the more mature, or the more like Christ, that person is.

The beautiful thing about the fruit of the Spirit is that it's not just a set of rules. In the survey, 81 percent of self-identified Christians said that "trying hard to follow the rules described in the Bible" is a good definition of spiritual health.

I don't know about you, but most of the spiritually mature men and women I have known and looked up to in my life haven't been "trying hard" to follow the rules, they just have such a close walk with God that they can't help but display God's character. That's what separates our faith from other religions. We're not trying desperately to obey the rules lest we get struck down. We have the Spirit, and He gives us a desire to do the things of God. The more you walk with Him; the more He changes you.

That's what I think about spiritual maturity. How do you define it? What are you striving for in your walk with God, and what kind of believers do you look up to?

What Does a Real Christian Man Look Like?

2009-05-07T08:15:00.000-05:00

One of the many interesting topics that comes up in my current line of work is the debate over what it really means to be a Christian man. I hear it from people I interview, from people who comment and write in, and from articles and blog posts.

You'd be surprised at the wide range of opinions that exist on this subject. Obviously this debate has existed for a long time, but it seems that it's really come into its own since Promise Keepers made it a national topic in the secular media.

Everyone agrees on the problem. Modern Western culture really has a problem figuring out a wholesome masculine image. Traditional gender roles have been turned on their heads in the last 100 years. The feminist movement went from a well-intentioned stand for female rights to an extremist liberal group that is often out of control. Divorce rates and other issues have caused millions of men to grow up without strong father figures, which in turn has led to a generation of fathers trying to figure things out for themselves.

As the body of Christ, we know that our culture has lost a wholesome image of masculinity, but we disagree on the way to get it back. There's a whole gamut of opinions about this, but I've identified some of the most popular. See if any of these ring a bell:

The "Wild" Christian Men: These are the John Eldredge "let's go camping with nothing but shorts and a knife while we eat raw meat and hug each other around a fire" guys. Wild At Heart and Eldredge's other books have had a huge influence on the men's movement, with an emphasis on following the sense of adventure God has placed in your heart. It's an appeal that really hits men on an emotional level and makes it OK for us to want to live out our dreams as Maximus or William Wallace. Eldredge and those like him have really hit home with a lot of Christian guys out there, but critics often cite a lack of biblical foundation among these outdoorsy types. Which lead us to our next group …

The Smart Christian Men: These are the guys who will critically take apart any other take on the men's movement through their powerful reasoning and superior hermeneutics. Biblical scholarship and intelligence are the keys here, and everyone else who talks about Christian masculinity is just brutish. Check out blogger Phil Johnson's post on Christian masculinity for a good example. It is proper theology and living that are the main message here, none of this rough-and-rugged stuff. Which would, of course, be the opposite of …

The Christian Men on Steroids: Similar to the "Wild" Christian men group, but more extreme, this movement has popped up in the past five years or so. Much of this movement, which is based on the ideas of Eldredge but goes further, focuses on the "sissification" of the church over the last 100 years and how we need to remake churches to appeal specifically to men. Check out Church for Men for an example. These guys want to sing worship songs about battles and conquest; they want short sermons because real men don't like to sit and listen, they like to do. They also focus on activities and service.

Obviously all these different groups have good intentions, and many of them emphasize different aspects of masculinity. So how do we balance them? How do we get the active service, the solid theology and the emotional appeal of all the groups? What does the ultimate, ideal Christian man look like?

That would be Jesus.

Its funny how the source of our faith seems to get lost in the debate among various Christians. Although each group claims a different aspect of Christ, I keep looking to the gospels to see the ideal godly man. Jesus had it all. Want solid thinking? How about constantly answering questions by quoting Scriptures and providing revelations from the Old Testament. Want a strong man? How about a guy who can spend 40 days in the desert without food, or sacrifice Himself for the salvation of everyone? Want a balanced man? How about a guy who treated women with more respect than anyone in His day and age.

I've almost always found that the best answers in Christianity are the most simple ones. If you want to know how to be the best Christian man you can be, look to Jesus.

Florida vs. Ohio

2009-04-30T13:06:00.000-05:00

So I grew up in Florida, but I live in Ohio. For those of you who have been to Ohio, you already understand the joke. I don't even need to say anything. For those of you who haven't, let me explain.

Florida is the Sunshine State. Ohio is the Buckeye State, so named for the Buckeye tree, or fetid buckeye, which derives its unflattering name from the disagreeable odor produced by its leaves and twigs. It also produces poisonous flowers and nuts, which the locals named their football team after (naturally).

In Florida, we could go to the beach in our free time. In Ohio, we … well, actually I've lived here almost a year and I'm still not sure what Ohioans do in their free time.

Florida's largest city is Miami, which has South Beach. Ohio's largest city is Cleveland, which is also known as "The Mistake by the Lake."

Florida is part of the Bible Belt. Ohio is part of the Rust Belt.

In Florida, it's sunny all year round. In Ohio … not so much. I broke my sunglasses last September and didn't even notice until this week.

However, the one thing I'll give Ohio is this: I never realized the joy of spring until I got here. This week, which is what I'm counting as the first week of spring, has been glorious. Real sunshine every day (I didn't realize this until I got here, but there is "fake" sunshine, when the sun is technically out but you can't really tell; and "real" sunshine, when you have to squint to see.) Highs in the low 80s. Constant breeze. The leaves are back. Flowers are blooming. Frankly, it's beautiful.

I never appreciated the joy of spring in Florida. In Florida, you take the good weather for granted. Not in Ohio. When it's nice, you appreciate it.

Sometimes I feel that way about my faith. If things are going well and everyone is doing fine, I often find that I take the joys of the Lord for granted. I get lazy and forget all the amazing things He has to offer me. The peace of prayer, the quiet wisdom of His Word, the joy of worship.

But when things are going rough, when it's the winter season in life, I tend to hold on to those joys more tightly. I'm much more aware of them and the importance of them in my life. That's why I love the "Blessed Be Your Name" song from Matt Redman. It hits you at whatever part of life you are in.

This year, I'm going to try to focus on the Lord even when things are going well—and not take Him for granted. Here's hoping that whether you are in a winter or summer season in your life, you won't either.

Being Superman

2009-04-23T08:38:00.000-05:00

Last night my wife asked me to lift the mattress and tuck in the sheets, but that's not what I heard in my head. My brain translated that request as, "Oh, husband, could you use your burly arms to lift this giant weight and save me, your helpless wife, from my distress?" I jumped to action, only to be deflated when I actually had to struggle to lift the darn thing (hey, it's a big mattress).

One of my favorite stand-up routines from Jerry Seinfeld is when he talks about how, deep down, all men think they are Superman. He uses the example of the guy who is driving a mattress home from the store and, even though it's strapped down, he's still got an arm out the window holding on to it. The guy is thinking, If that strap breaks, don't worry, I got it. It's the same absurd thrill we get from moving heavy objects or from killing bugs while women are screaming.

God designed men to be leaders, protectors and providers. Those roles can sometimes be a little harder to find in 21st century America than they might have been in 17th century America. We're not plowing fields or repelling attackers or hunting for dinner, so we take what we can get. Sometimes that means getting a kick out of some minor skirmish with a centipede, but more often than not it means acting in the same ways that our manly forefathers would have, even though the scenarios are different.

We may not have to plow fields or build our own houses, but we still have to work hard. There's nothing more unmanly than a lazy guy, someone who isn't doing what is necessary to provide for the family. We may not have to repel attackers, but we definitely have to watch out for our wives and children, even though the threats may not be as obvious. And, like every man throughout history, we have to be leaders, especially when it comes to spiritual things.

That can be hard these days, because a lot of men have grown up with no father or with a father who did not display the godly principles he should have. That's why I was excited to find this week's lead story for the eMag—John Smithbaker's new ministry, Fathers in the Field. John has created a fantastic ministry for men to become father figures in the lives of boys who don't have one.

I'm also excited that we are starting the first of our biweekly columns from the leaders of Iron Sharpens Iron. The first one, from their president, Brian Doyle, explains what it means to be a spiritual leader in the home. Brian has been involved in working with and discipling men for a long time, and I am thrilled to get someone of his experience giving us insights.

At New Man, we want to help you become the Superman that God intended you to be. So, as always, we'd love for you to let us know how we're doing and how we can do it better.

The Challenge of Busyness

2009-04-14T10:15:00.003-05:00

Hey guys, a change is coming to New Man and we believe you're going to like it! As a way to ease the burden on your time, we've decided to split the eMagazine into two parts during the week. Starting next week, you'll receive the first part on Tuesdays, with the great stories you've come to expect from us, and a new second part on Thursday, with my blog post and another great feature article.

We found that a lot of you guys didn't have time to go through all nine articles in the eMag at once, so we hope this change will make it a little easier for you to digest all that we offer, without sacrificing any of the content. We'd really like to hear your feedback, though. Tell us what you think about the new two-issue format. Love it? Hate it? Let us know in the Comments section.

This hits on the point I wanted to talk about this week, which is how the typical American Christian guy is one of the busiest creatures on the planet. One of the things that struck me as I was talking to the men from Iron Sharpens Iron a few weeks ago was how challenging it is to get men involved in life of the church. Most pastors find it downright discouraging how few men they can get to volunteer, join a small group or even come to events.

Part of the problem is a spiritual one; the lack of good male leadership in this country is something we all can agree on. But one of the things that those in men's ministry have realized is that many Christian men would love to be involved in more things in the life of their churches—they just don't have the time. Iron Sharpens Iron director Brian Doyle said that getting a man to come to a one-day conference is a huge thing to ask. In order to do it, he said, you have to convince him that attending is worth his one Saturday of the week—a Saturday when he could be spending time with his wife, playing with his kids, getting household duties done, relaxing or taking care of people who rely on him, such as elderly parents.

It's amazing how busy most of us are. If we want to do something, usually we have to check three different schedules as well as ask our wives before we can be sure it's possible. This is the same reason that men's small groups tend to happen at ridiculously early hours of the morning. It's the only time in the day we've got!

This is one of the toughest battles we can face because there are so many legitimate pulls on our time. As men of God, we should be responsible, work our jobs and handle our responsibilities around the home. We need to be investing in our marriages—spending quality time with our wives to keep the relationship growing. Those with kids at home know that children require more time than anything else yet are more important than anything else that demands our time. Add to this the time we should be spending with God, and all of it combined can drive a man crazy. Trying to take one more responsibility at church can feel like promising time that doesn't even exist. There's really no easy solution to this, other than the fact that we do need to prioritize our lives.

If you know you are terminally busy, make sure that you are busy for the right reasons. Do you really need to be spending that extra half hour at work? How important is time in front of the TV? What would happen if you woke up a half an hour earlier? As long as we are recognizing this problem and making conscious decisions about how to spend our days, we can overcome it. If you just do whatever comes up and don't prioritize, your time will be eaten away.

Men's Ministry and New Man

2009-04-08T12:51:00.000-05:00

Men's ministries and New Man have always had a close-knit relationship. Our magazine was actually launched as the official Promise Keepers magazine when that organization was starting to hit it big in the mid-1990s, and we have been inseparable from the movement ever since. We have the same goals, the same audience and the same issues.

That's why I'm excited to announce a new partnership between New Man and Iron Sharpens Iron, an amazing ministry that has grown dramatically in the last few years. As you can read about in the main story, Iron Sharpens Iron is actually a group of ministries dedicated to reaching men through conferences, discipleship and the local church. God has given them a clear vision and a heart for the men of this country, and it's been so exciting to talk with them and hear their passion over the past few weeks.

One of the best parts about this new partnership is that you, the readers, are going to benefit. Starting soon, we will be running columns from the various leaders in Iron Sharpens Iron at least once a month. This will be all-new content from guys with years of experience in ministering to men. You're probably thinking, "Wait, I read Chris' column every week, why would I need another one?" I know, that's what I thought, too. (Note to all blog posters: that was a joke).

But I'm seriously excited to hear from these men. As a young Christian, I can only talk about and discuss certain things. I'm in no position to offer advice on marriages, fatherhood or discipling. I just don't have the experience. These guys have been doing it for years, and they know how to do it right.

Look for these new columns to start soon!

The Positive Side of Recession

2009-04-01T13:18:00.000-05:00

One of the strange things I keep hearing as I've been interviewing Christian leaders and authors in recent months is how much more open people are to hearing the gospel and the Word of God since the economic recession started. Many of them are saying they are seeing more people respond to their messages, more people interested in their faith, and more people learning to rely on God.

Of course, in many ways this isn't strange. Anyone who has been in a crisis and seen God pull them through can testify to how powerful it was for their faith and their life. It's one thing to put your faith in God when things are going well. It's entirely different to do it when things are really tough. But those are the times when God works most powerfully.

When you can literally see God provide for you or give you comfort and aid in a really tough time, the power of Christ is never more evident. This is why Christianity is spreading so quickly and powerfully in poor or oppressed portions of the world right now. You will rely on God when you have no one else to turn to.

Since the time I was a kid, it seems like one of modern-day America's biggest hurdles in turning to God has been our prosperity. We don't need God to provide for us because we have money. We don't constantly turn to him in prayer because we have so many other things to do. But when times get tough, that's when the important things surface.

I've experienced that in my own life in recent months. It's amazing to see how God has provided for my wife and me over the time we've been married. It seems that every time we hit a major hurdle, whether it's financial or otherwise, He is there to provide for us (even if it's usually at the last second). If you are going through a rough time, know that God is in control and turn to Him.

The Power of Short-Term Missions

2009-03-25T10:31:00.000-05:00

I just found out that my sister is going on a two-week missions trip to Rwanda next week, and I couldn’t be more thrilled. In fact I’m pretty jealous that my schedule won’t allow me to go too. I know that would seem like a crazy sentiment for most people to have. Why would someone want to go to Rwanda of all places? To me it shows the extreme value that short-term missions have had in my life.

I’ve been on three overseas missions trips to Third World countries (all in Latin America), and I can say that those few weeks have impacted my faith, my worldview and my life in an amazing way. The beauty of a trip like that is that God uses it to bless both those who are receiving aid and those who are "giving" aid. I put that in quotes because everyone I know who has been on one of these trips feels like they always receive way more than they give.

When you travel on missions trips, God changes your perspective in a way that just cannot be learned or experienced in America or other wealthy countries. You can’t be told how valuable faith is until you have seen the exuberant smiles of those who have nothing other than their faith in Christ. You can’t be told how enormously poor most of the world is until you have seen the miles of slums beneath the highway. And you can’t be told how real the kingdom of God looks until you have seen it spread like wildfire from person to person, village to village, without any sort of evangelistic strategy or materials.

Although the West continues to slowly step further and further away from Christ, God is transforming whole populations of people in Latin America, Africa and southern Asia. The growth of the gospel in the Southern Hemisphere right now is absolutely astounding, a true revival. Yet we are always caught up so much in our American worldview that we often miss what is happening around us. After you’ve seen it in person, you’ll never forget.

If you’ve never been, I highly recommend getting involved in a short-term missions trip with your local church or one of the many organizations that host trips. Not only do our brothers and sisters in poorer countries need us, but we need them. We need their passion and their powerful faith. You will be amazed at how God will bless you so much more as He uses you to bless others.

The New NewMan.com

2009-03-18T13:29:00.002-05:00

I wanted to give you all a heads-up about the changes to our Web site, newmanmag.com. We’ve been listening to a lot of reader feedback, and I’m proud to announce that the Web site has a totally new look, although it is a familiar one.

We have turned the new site into a clone of the current issue of the eMagazine. A number of readers said they wanted to see the articles they get in the eMag on the Web site because they wanted to be able to link to stories for their friends. Now you should be able to see everything you get in your e-mail box right there on the site.

The new site will also soon be featuring an archive of all the past articles we’ve published in the eMagazine. This will allow people who missed a week or can’t find an article they wanted to save to search for it quickly and easily. We hope you enjoy the ease of use with the new site.

And this is just a start of the changes we’ve got coming up. Look out for some new columns to start running regularly that we think you’ll love. Also, while the new site is a great improvement over the old one, know that we’re not stopping here. We’ve got plans to launch an entirely refurbished site later in the year, with areas for feedback and communication between men. Look for us to soon become a better place for Christian men to seek and join in community together.

Faith in the Face of Trials

2009-03-11T12:29:00.000-05:00

I love it when God hits you over the head with a point. I had two interviews this week that dealt with the same subject, the subject that a lot of people are dealing with these days: why bad things happen. It’s a tough time and it’s a common question without an easy answer. I’m not going to try to tackle the whole topic of theodicy here, but I would like to share some of the similarities in what the two men I talked to said.

The first was Marc Gonsalves, the man who was held captive in the jungles of Colombia for 5-1/2 years. You can read about his whole story in this week’s issue, but the most amazing part for me was the fact that his faith was saved through this horrible experience. Before all of this happened he wasn’t even a practicing Christian, but because of his confinement and the fact that God provided a Bible for him, he rediscovered his faith and relied on God to get him through the truly horrifying situations he was put in. He wasn’t bitter at God for allowing his plane to crash land right in the middle of a rebel terrorist camp; he was amazed at how God used the situation for his good. Instead of blaming God, he was thankful.

The same subject came up a few days later while talking with Brian Zahnd, pastor of Word of Life Church in Missouri and author of What to Do on the Worst Day of Your Life. The book tells the story of David’s worst day in the Bible, when David and his men found their village burned, their crops and flocks destroyed, and their wives and children taken prisoner by the Amalekites. Zahnd uses this story from David’s life as a template for what happens to us on the worst days of our lives. In the end, God gave David and his men back everything they had lost, and actually increased their blessings. Zahnd actually wrote the original form of the book in 1997, and it was never fully published until last week, when it would touch a lot more people than normal. He sees God’s hand in that.

Obviously every bad situation doesn’t turn out the same. Some tragedies cannot be recovered. But we know from Romans 8:28 that “in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (NIV). God will never leave us, He will always be there for us, and that is a promise to rest on in tough times like these.

The Good Work of James Dobson

2009-03-04T12:37:00.001-05:00

Dr. James Dobson stepped down from his position as board chairman for Focus on the Family last Friday. This isn’t a controversial move--he wasn’t upset with the organization or forced out in any way--it’s merely part of his succession plan for the ministry, another wise move by a man who has made a career out of giving evangelical Americans great wisdom.
I don’t know of many Christians in the U.S. who haven’t been touched by Dobson or Focus on the Family in the last 30 years. He and his company have effectively wielded nearly every communication tool available to give good advice, counsel and guidance to millions of Americans.

The company has particularly excelled at helping families function in a Christ-like manner. I’m sure countless marriages have benefited from their wisdom. I know a whole generation of children (including me) were raised on things like Adventures in Odyssey, an amazing resource for learning to grow up as a child of God. And I’m sure it’s almost impossible to count the ways Dobson and his organization have helped parents over the years. They have dealt with nearly every challenging topic, from the earliest stages of child rearing to adolescence and teenage years, in a godly, well-balanced way.

It’s interesting today that many associate Dobson with his foray into politics over the past 10 years or so. This has made him a more controversial figure, particularly in the mainstream media. But I will always prefer to think of him as the gentle-voiced psychologist who helped me learn to grow up as a strong Christian with rock-solid wisdom and insights from the Word of God.

Grateful in Tough Times

2009-02-25T16:25:00.001-05:00

Last week was a tough week for me and my wife. We found out that a significant portion of our income was going to be cut due to the effects of the economy. It was a situation that I know millions of Americans are finding themselves in each and every day during this economic crisis.

My reaction was predictable. Worry, fear and anxiety pretty much took hold of me for a few days. I started looking all over the place for alternatives to fill in that gap in our income. Of course, those opportunities are getting fewer and fewer as more and more people find themselves in these situations, which of course led me to worry even more.

I knew that my anxiety was groundless, because God had provided for our little family (I’m including our hamster) in a similar situation before. I knew what Jesus says in Matthew 6:25-34, to seek first His Kingdom, and not to worry about tomorrow. But it’s a hard thing to do.

Instead, God did what He often seems to do and flipped me and my wife’s perspective on the whole thing 180 degrees. He didn’t provide a solution immediately and He didn’t magically take away all of our fears. What He did do was shift our focus from what we were losing to the amazing things that we have.

First, we kept reading news about how many other people were losing their jobs and all of their investments. We had only lost a small part compared to these people. Then we saw Slumdog Millionaire over the weekend. The powerful depiction of poverty in India through that film is impossible to get over, and I would challenge anyone to walk away from that movie not being thankful for this country and all the things the Lord provides.

God also showed us other people we knew who were struggling with terrible health issues, from a friend undergoing eye surgery to save her sight to a family member who was recently diagnosed with cancer. Compared to these, our problem seemed so small that we almost felt selfish for focusing on it so much.

It’s funny how the worst times seem to point out the best things in your life. We take so much for granted when everything is going well, as it often does in a place like America. But God is so good, and when things are tough, that’s when He is there in a more powerful way than ever. Even though we may be looking at a tough economic period coming up, my wife and I are truly blessed. We have an amazing love for each other that God has blessed. We have enough to eat and food and shelter. We have the all-encompassing love of God that will never fail. We also have a really cute hamster.

Thank you, Lord, for helping us to have the right perspective when life gets tough.

Movies: To Watch or Not to Watch?

2009-02-18T15:47:00.001-05:00

Last week’s piece on chick flicks brought up one of the most disputed topics for New Man readers: what kind of movies are appropriate for Christians to watch? This is a common debate among Christians in America today because movies are such a big part of our culture. When talking about in-the-world-but-not-of-the-world issues, this one hits home for a lot of people. Like most of these gray issues, I find the truth usually lies somewhere in the middle.

The two extreme opinions regarding movie watching among the Christian world also seem to be the most vocal (isn’t that often the case). One the one hand, many don’t think we should watch secular movies at all, or if we do, it shouldn’t be anything more than PG-rated. The reasons behind this view are obvious, because the Bible warns us not to pollute our minds and only to think on things that are good.

On the other hand, there are those who think that Christians should understand our culture, and one of the best ways to do that is by watching movies. Movies are truly the main American art form, and if you want to understand current worldviews in our country, there are few better ways to do it than by closely watching our films. This side of the group says that they only watch movies with a critical eye and are not affected by what they see.

Our chick flick survival guide last week was a prime example of these tensions. We had several responses that were shocked that we would promote these type of movies in our Christian magazine. We also got a huge positive response to it. Many enjoyed the fun, tongue-in-cheek way we handled it. It actually turned out to be the most-read article we’ve had in the last six months. So clearly, a lot of men are falling somewhere in the middle of these two arguments.

To be honest, as a young Christian man who loves to watch and examine a good film, my natural tendency is to fall in line with the latter group. I have to struggle to keep myself more in the middle, because I just enjoy movies a lot. But I understand the value of what that first group says, and I certainly think that what I watch affects me. It’s a hard balancing act to walk, but I think each of us has to walk that line, and I also think the line is different for each of us. Certain things may be all right for you to see and not me, or vice versa. I think that principle is true for a lot of the gray issues in Christianity. The key is to know what we can handle, and to make sure others around us (like our wives or friends) keep us accountable to that.

In line with that thought, starting next week we will be starting a new feature for all of our movie and TV reviews. At the end of each review, we will make sure to tell you what to expect in the way of, shall we say non-Christian content. This isn’t going to be one of those really detailed lists, but we will give you an idea of what to expect in the film so that you can make an informed decision about your entertainment watching.

True Love on Valentine's Day

2009-02-12T13:06:00.001-05:00

It’s easy to get cynical about Valentine's Day. It’s a required date night that often can feel artificial and meaningless. It feeds into our consumerist culture by requiring us to purchase cards, flowers and/or chocolates. The whole thing seems to get a bum rap by a lot of men, and often rightly so.

But there’s nothing wrong with celebrating "eros," which is what C.S. Lewis and many others have called the love that God gave men and women at the beginning of time. It’s a special and unique form of love, much different from the love we have for our families, friends and even our children. It’s a love that, when done correctly, is designed to reflect the relationship between Christ and his church.

I’m trying to see Valentine's Day not as a shallow excuse to boost flower sales, but as a reminder to step into the servant-leader role that mirrors the way Christ interacts with us, His people. It’s something that we should be doing every day, but it’s nice to have an evening where we specifically focus on this role and this relationship.

That means Valentine's Day will look different for every man, because every woman wants something different. Some women want the chocolate, the flowers and the romantic movie (if that’s the case, check out our Chick Flick Survival Guide for some fun and helpful tips). Some women don’t care as much for those things, they might just want a break from the kids or a nice quiet talk. Whatever the case, as servant-leaders we need to understand and meet those needs, just as Jesus understands and meets ours.

A Dungy-Like Influence

2009-02-04T14:13:00.000-05:00

It’s been a blast to see so many Christian football players and coaches succeed in recent years. Between David Tyree and his helmet catch, Tim Tebow and his championship and Kurt Warner making it back to the Super Bowl, it seems that the name of Jesus Christ has been a regular topic among football fans the last few years, and that is a testament to the way these men have boldly talked about their faith.

But if there’s one man in the sports world that always sticks out to me, it has to be Tony Dungy. Dungy stands apart because not only does he use his public platform as a witness, he also exerts an amazing influence over the people in his private life as well. Check out this story about Dungy’s impact on Super Bowl-winning coach Mike Tomlin. Tomlin spoke out for the first time on a big stage about his faith in Christ and credited a great deal to his relationship with Dungy.

"First and foremost, I want people to know who I am and what the most important thing is in my life, my relationship with Jesus Christ," Tomlin said in response to a Baptist Press question about his personal faith. "Football is what we do; faith is who we are all the time."

Dungy not only brought Tomlin into the NFL as an assistant coach for Tampa Bay, but he also mentored the young coach. He lived a consistent life on and off the field, shared with Tomlin his lessons about leadership, and remained close after they joined different franchises. Today the 36-year-old Tomlin is the youngest coach ever to win the Super Bowl and is universally respected around the league for his leadership and his maturity, so much so that most teams without a coach are looking for “the next Mike Tomlin.”

The beautiful thing is that he’s not the only one over whom Dungy has had this sort of influence. Lovie Smith, head coach of the Chicago Bears, acknowledged his respect and gratitude for Dungy when he made it to the Super Bowl a few years ago. He was also groomed as an assistant coach under Dungy and is now a respected leader who is an outspoken Christian.

Although Dungy officially retired a few weeks ago, his influence clearly lives on through the men he mentored. His integrity and servant’s heart is continuing to pass to the next generation of coaches. We can have that same influence among our circle of family, friends and co-workers. In my interview with Pat Williams (our lead story this issue), he talked a lot about our influence, saying that “every action we take influences somebody.” This really got to me, as I can think of several instances in the last few weeks where my actions were not having the kind of influence I would like to create.

How are you doing in your circle of influence? Are you allowing God to work through your every action? Are you leading and pouring into the lives of other men, and allowing them to pour into you? If anyone has some testimonies or tips on ways they have been an influence in other’s lives, we’d love to hear about them in the comments section.

The Amazing Story of ‘Pendragon’

2009-01-27T20:00:00.001-05:00

I try not to write about articles in a current issue of New Man too often, because that gets boring real fast. Yet I can’t help but draw your attention to this week’s Q&A with Aaron Burns, one of the creators of the new Christian movie Pendragon.

I’ve seen most of the film and it’s pretty a pretty incredible accomplishment. Pendragon is full-length action-adventure epic created by two homeschooling families. It has everything you want from this type of film, including sword fighting, explosions, chases on horseback, love, betrayal and a Christian message. And most of it was created in the Burns family’s backyard.

The quality of the picture is certainly not up to Hollywood standards, but it’s comparable or higher than the quality of many Christian films out there that have professional producers, actors and directors. I’m simply amazed by what this group of brothers, sisters and cousins accomplished. They wrote the screenplay and some of the score, built the sets, created the costumes and learned to use cameras as they went along.

The Burnses decided to dream big and trust that God would allow them to accomplish their dream (which is actually the main theme of the movie as well). What started out as a four-person team with $6,000 turned into a 600-person project with an $80,000 budget, and the Burnses credit all of it to prayer and God’s provision.

This movie is a testament to what God can do through you if you dare to dream and trust Him to provide along the way. That’s a lesson all of us guys can learn as we try to influence our world for Christ.

In the meantime, check out Pendragon’s Web site at www.pendragonmovie.com and look for the DVD to arrive at your local Christian bookstore by the end of February.

Obama Draws Mixed Emotions

2009-01-20T13:16:00.000-05:00

I don’t know what it is, but there’s always a certain mystique about the American presidency. In an age where we know the most intimate details of many celebrities’ lives, it’s sometimes hard to feel a sense of awe or wonderment, but for some reason the institution of the presidency always gets to me. I’m under no illusions about the fallibility of the people who inhabit the office (Bill Clinton took care of that), but I’m a big history fan, and things like inaugurations always give me chills.

That’s why Tuesday’s inauguration (which hadn’t taken place at the time of this writing) leaves me with mixed emotions, as I’m sure it does for many Americans. On the one hand, I’m filled with a deep sense of pride and history for this moment. It is a truly special thing to witness the first African-American president in American history. It’s the kind of thing you will tell your grandkids about. Not only is it important to symbolically show how far our country has come in terms of racial relations, but it also provides a role model for a lot of minority kids in tough situations.

Yet at the same time, I wish I agreed with him on more issues. This isn’t a political blog, so I don’t plan on going into a lot of details, but like many Christians out there I find myself disagreeing with him on a variety of issues and not looking forward to the potential legislation that will be passed in the next few years.

It’s been a constant back-and-forth battle emotionally for the last week or so. He’s a great orator, but is the content of the speech what we need to hear? He invited evangelical Rick Warren to pray at the inauguration, but he also asked homosexual Episcopal Bishop Gene Robinson to pray on Sunday.

I suppose in the end all I can do is what I recommended in an earlier post, to pray for President Barack Obama. Pray that he makes the right decisions, regardless of how they line up with my ideas. Pray that he surrounds himself with good people. Pray that the Lord will grant him great wisdom, insight and energy. Pray that we as Christians will conduct ourselves with grace and truth in the debates that follow his decisions.

What else should we pray for?

Tim Tebow: A Real Role Model

2009-01-13T16:24:00.000-05:00

My favorite athlete has always been Danny Wuerffel. I was in sixth grade when he won a national championship for my beloved Gators in 1996, and I never thought I would see such a perfect combination of athleticism, character and faith again, much less in a person that played for my favorite team.

In many ways, he was a role model for me. Interestingly enough, he was also a role model for a certain fourth grader who lived about two hours away from me, a kid named Timmy Tebow.

Tebow is very much the successor to Wuerffel in many ways, both on and off the field. But Tebow has managed to carry that standard even higher. On the field, obviously he now has another national championship under his belt. Off the field, it seems his faith-fueled good works are getting even more attention than Wuerffel’s did in the ’90s.

Nearly every time he’s talked about on TV, in print or on the radio, it seems that even the most cynical of sports figures will mention his trips to prisons or the Philippines. It’s almost comical to see some of them squirm when they talk about how many great things he does, because they don’t have an explanation for it. Tebow does so much good that it begs the question, Why? And the beautiful thing is they already know the answer, even if they don’t want to talk about it--his faith in Christ.

Tebow is a role model and not just for kids. This is the way Christians should live, overflowing with good works, living a life above reproach and boldly sharing the gospel. I’m not saying that Tim Tebow is perfect, but like many Christian athletes before him, he has taken it upon himself to use his place in the public eye to show people what it means to be a Christian. Let’s back him up on that and live that life for the people we come in contact with every day.

God at Work in the Worst Situations

2009-01-06T18:37:00.007-05:00

This week’s lead story is not a typical one for us. It’s a reader letter, which we almost never run in such a prominent spot, but I think one read and everyone will agree that it was something special. It comes from an Army staff sergeant in Iraq who is telling us about his relationship with a young man who was running from God and his attempts to lead him back to his Savior. I won’t spoil the ending, but it’s a powerful reminder that God is always at work.

It also struck me as a great reminder for those who are dealing with dire circumstances in this country as well. The current economic situation has many of our readers dealing with stress and problems that they’ve never faced before, and I believe this story from a war is particularly appropriate for them. God is always at work in our lives. Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”

Notice it doesn’t say that God will make our lives comfortable or easy or simple. It simply says that no matter the circumstance, He will work it for good. That’s true whether you’re in the middle of a war of whether you’ve just been fired from your job. God loves you, He is still with you, and He will work all things together for good.