Off the Wagon!

Confession time. I've fallen off the diet wagon…and landed hard. One colleague remarked that I am actually under the wagon’s tires. Harsh words. But don’t worry about me. I comforted myself with some warm pecan pie.

I’m not sure how this happened. It certainly wasn’t planned. It started with an innocent “cheat meal” and morphed into a full fledge flight from reality. And it couldn’t have happened at a worse time—with just a month to go on my diet.

Here’s the most shameful part. Man I hope Jordan Rubin—author of Perfect Weight America—isn’t reading this.

I ate pork.

Two days in a row. That’s probably the worst sin you can commit on this diet. Rubin really doesn’t like pork. Not only because of the Bible. He’s got other reasons too. And he convinced me of his position. In his book he writes about how pigs have very simple stomachs, which means that everything they eat (and they eat everything!) basically becomes part of their makeup. Bottom line. When you eat pork, you’re eating garbage.

The thought of eating garbage scared me straight for a while. Then inexplicably my pork fears fled a few days ago when I spotted “pulled pork sandwich” on the menu of a local restaurant. I ordered. I ate. The serpent slipped back into the trees and I felt very naked. But I can’t lie. There was a certain pleasure in the illicit act. The Bible says stolen water is sweet. Let me tell you—that goes for forbidden pulled pork sandwiches too.

OK, I’m getting off track. Here’s the bottom line. Not only am I getting back on the wagon, I’m taking some sage advice posted on my blog last week to extend my regimen for an additional 30 days. That should give me enough time to at least get near my original goals. And next time you hear from me, the title of my post will be “Back in the Saddle Again!”