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How to Stop Your Hunger For Porn

Question: What can I do to kick this hunger for pornography? I'm so ashamed and frustrated. Sometimes, I just wish I could cut off my manhood. Seems like my life would be much less complicated if I didn't have a sex drive.

Answer: You asked the right guy. I have been clean from pornography and self-sex behavior for more than 18 years. I remember feeling trapped, hopeless and overwhelmed. You too can get free your entire life, but you are going to need to make behavioral changes. For starters, try total honesty. Most men stay trapped because of pride, not because it's so difficult to change.

Get a man you can be accountable to about your behavior. Report honestly about pornography, masturbation and lusting after others. If there is a Christian support group in your area, attend regularly. You will not get better by yourself; you have already tried and failed using that method.

Next, get a porn blocker. I like the one offered on our Web site and at bsafehome.com. It not only blocks pornography, but there also is an accountability feature, which e-mails all the Web sites you visited to your accountability partner.

Another way to battle lust: Place a rubber band on your wrist, and snap it any time you objectify a woman. Your brain will clean up in about a month.

Also, set consequences for yourself if you act inappropriately. Of course, I expect you to also read your Bible, pray and be in fellowship with a local church. If you need counseling, definitely do that for yourself, your marriage and family.

Remember, you're created in the image of God. Removing your manhood doesn't make you nonsexual. You will be sexual until death, so heal now so you can be really sexually successful for the rest of your days.

By Doug Weiss, Ph.D., founder of Heart to Heart Counseling Center and author of The Seven Love Agreements, which explains the power of unity in marriage and outlines seven “love agreements” that will revitalize relationships (available at strangdirect.com). Contact him at drdougweiss.com, info@drdougweiss.com or 5080 Mark Dabling Blvd., Colorado Springs, CO 80918. Visit his Web site at intimatematters.com